We have travel approval to go pick up our new son!! Next Sunday we will officially have 5 children that bear our last name. (So maybe that is 6 days from today – but 5 in 5 is such a better title.)
The adoption journey really is a roller coaster of emotions, waiting, and wondering. A paper pregnancy that has no due date. It is such a relief to know that the end is almost here. We are trading in a roller coaster of uncertainty and stress for – a bag of grief.
You thought I was going to say that we are trading in the stress of adoption paperwork for joy and excitement….didn’t you?! Don’t get me wrong. We are over the moon to have the blessing of parenting this sweet soul. He is an answer to prayer, comes to us after much desire and many hopes. That isn’t even mentioning how dearly wanted he is by our family.
But for him….just think of it. The grief that is headed his way in a short 5 days.
Everything he has known is about to change. He is going to be saying good-bye to the nannies that have been caring for him these past two years. Every moment that I have missed with him – they have been there. They helped him heal after a surgery, gave him bottles, noticed when his first tooth was coming through, changed countless diapers, wondered about rashes, bumps and bruises, held his hands as he learned to walk….and so many more life moments. They have been his life. On top of that he is saying good-bye to the other 7 children in his foster home, saying good-bye to his pre-school teacher and classmates, his routine, his food. I am sure you are getting the idea. He is saying goodbye to living in an all Chinese environment and entering a crazy, white expat world. Sad, hard stuff.
There was a time that I CHOSE to leave everything to follow God’s plan for my life. His calling. I said a ton of good-byes, grieved deeply and struggled to fit into my new world. I was an adult. I chose to move – and still it was so very hard. Moe, is taking it a step further. He not only is changing worlds – his whole identity is shifting. He didn’t choose any of this. It wasn’t his choice to become an orphan. He had no say as a ward of the State. He didn’t get to pick us. Again, you get the idea. Tough start to life.
So we would appreciate your prayers in the coming days. Hubby and I desperately need wisdom as we help comfort, love, and learn who this sweet baby is. Would you also pray for Moe, as he grieves? We are claiming the promise that mourning will be changed to dancing, ashes will be made into a crown of glory, and that God can heal all wounds….even wounds on a heart so young. He will survive the hard transitions ahead and thrive! Until then, we are trusting in the Father of the Fatherless to guide us all through this transition.
We are so very excited to have our new son in our arms and we will look forward to introducing him to you very soon! We hope to post updates here on the blog over the weekend. We would be honored if you would follow along and pray for us.