It is the question that makes parents shake in their boots. I am no exception. Armed with some good tools (God’s Design for Sex printed by NavPress) I think we have handled the questions fairly well. We lived through the “announcing in the grocery line what body parts everyone has or doesn’t have.” I didn’t have a heart attack when Bryan sat down and had the “talk” with Samuel. We managed our years in China where the children wear split pants so that it all hangs out. (No, we did not embrace that part of the culture! And yes, I still wonder how little boys don’t freeze off their potential future children during the winter.)
All of those notches in my belt, you would think we could handle the recent string of questions. But the new direction of our talks have brought me to tears on more than one occasion. (Hormones from the paper pregnancy maybe…)
The topic of conversation around our house now is “do you get babies by doing paperwork?” I actually remember Ruthie asking that same question when we were going through the adoption process for Beth. Actually, Ruthie’s kindergarten teacher sent a note home that she and her friend (whose mom was pregnant at the time) got into an argument on the playground.
Ruthie – “You get a new baby by doing paperwork!”
Friend – “I haven’t seen my mom and dad doing any paperwork.”
Frantic K teacher interrupts the conversation!
Presently, we have a little girl who knows we did paperwork to bring her home and is asking why we didn’t do paperwork for Ruthie and Samuel. We have been very open with our sweet girl – explaining adoption. We thought it had sunk in until she asked us if we could adopt her best friend from school so they could be “twins.” Hmmm. Back to her adoption story again with a few more details and a bit more pain. Which has brought on more questions – how are we are able to do paperwork to bring Isaac home? How does he need a family? Could anyone do papers to bring him home? How is our family lucky enough to do the papers? Could someone do papers to take Sam, Ruth or Beth from our house? BIG questions for a little person.
To be honest, I don’t know how our family is being SO BLESSED as a result of the deep pain of a birthmother who couldn’t parent and the trauma of a child who is abandoned. It haunts me at times. How do I explain all that to my adoring daughter? I am afraid NavPress hasn’t written a book about that. It is a question I will hold in my heart for a lifetime and hope God is able to answer it for me and my sweet Asian children when I see Him in heaven.
Casting A Stone 