Speechless…there is more

I just haven’t known what to say.  Every time I sit down to write a blog post, I just stare at the screen knowing that I will say to much or not enough.

It all started the first week of October.  We got a call from the orphanage asking us to consider becoming foster parents.  They needed emergency placement for three different children.  We heard the stories of all three kids and then the questions started rolling.  Could we really do this?  Should we do this?  Where would we fit another body in this small apartment?  How could we possibly say no when they called and asked us so directly? We had said someday we might foster.  Was that someday now?

We pr.yed and went back and forth about it for two weeks.  Finally, Hubby and I felt at peace after pr.ying, “We will do this unless You provide another way.”  The next day we got a call.  One of the children had an adoptive family who was coming with in a few weeks.  No need for her to be fostered.  Then while at the orphanage I was told a Chinese family offered to foster the second baby girl.  That left a two year old boy.

I went to meet him and thought we would bring him to our home.  As I held the tiny boy in my arms the assistant explained that the director had changed her mind.   We could not foster him because he would not be put on the list for international adoption.  I wept for him…and me.

I felt at a loss as I realized that our pr.yer had been answered.  G.d was not asking us to foster now.  Funny how you can feel so reluctant to do something when you think you can.  There was part of me that was relieved, but sad at the same time and I wasn’t sure what to do next.

I love my art classes, don’t get me wrong, but the next few weeks I struggled.  Was it enough?  Actually the thought of fostering didn’t help me with that question either.  Deep down I knew fostering wouldn’t be enough and we can’t adopt all of them.

In the midst of my struggling I was made an offer.

I was shocked.

I would have said no.

I think G.d knew that I needed to hold that two year old boy and feel his helplessness to be reminded that we are in a battle for these kids.  More needs to be done.

I was offered a new role at the orphanage.  They have asked me to help with international adoptions…to advocate for the kids, help in preparing files, train foster families, and help the adoptive families who come.

At first I was tempted to doubt that I was up for the task and that our family could handle me putting in more hours at the orphanage, but everything that had led up to this…

This is the more that my heart was longing for and Father has been preparing me for this all along.  Isn’t He so good?

So there you have it.  Possibly adding a foster baby to our family or a new position….that will make even the most talkative gal silent on her blog for a few weeks! 😉  Now that it is all worked out, I am back and I am sure you will be sick of hearing about all the new craziness I get into as I jump into my new role.  My new responsibilities at the children’s home start December 1st.  I am scared out of my mind and so excited.

We would really appreciate your pr.yers as we begin this new season.