Tammy

Chicken in the house

Posted on March 14, 2013March 15, 2013 by Tammy

Had a chicken in the house yesterday. Nope…not even kidding! It makes a little more sense when I mention that the girls’ bedroom windows don’t have screens. That is where common sense seems to stop in this story. The room needed airing, the chickens happen to be roaming the yard and with a bit of encouragement might have found the window sill.

Giggles and running feet through the house are common around here, BUT STILL. Come on Tammy! Get a clue. I was a bit baffled by the extra excitement when I heard the loud clucking. Come to find out the chicken had been in their room for quite some time, the girls weren’t sure how to tell me and rather enjoyed the guest.

I came unglued.

What does any self-respecting grown woman do when a chicken is found in her house? Send her eleven year old son in to “JUST TAKE CARE OF IT!”

My eleven year old is very smart. I had visions of him shooing the darling bird right back out the window from which she came. When asked later why he didn’t do that…..”I just wasn’t thinking, mom.”

I was sitting in the living room trying to remain calm wondering how much poop would need to be cleaned up when my son walks through the very same living room holding the now upset chicken flapping its wings as if she was trying to take off for the moon.

What does a self-respecting grown woman do when a chicken is in her living room flapping and flinging feathers? Why scream, of course! Which, if you are wondering, would make the chicken flap more and cause your valiant eleven year old to jump while trying to open the back door.

I sat thinking about posting this story and wondered how I could tie some great truth and meaning to the absurdity of my day. Surely I could learn something about being a Christian, about parenting, adoption or the Bible.

Nope.

Can’t think of a thing…well, except I’m glad I wasn’t Noah’s wife.

Basically, I try to let you all believe that I am a put together pastor’s wife whose children are angels due to my magnificent skills as a homeschooler and homesteader. (Having chickens makes me feel like a homesteader.) I might not play the piano or be prim and proper, but I like to think that I do the family thing pretty darn well.

I screamed at a chicken loud enough to make my two year old cry!!!

If I were keeping score (which you are not, but I am) then I could say that I haven’t killed anyone or any birds yet. Only by the grace of God. This parenting thing isn’t for the faint of heart. Some days it is hard. I read books about getting my kids to eat their veggies. There was never a chapter on how to get your kids not to play with chickens in the house.

Sigh.

Chicken day = not the best day in the parenting camp. Thankfully tomorrow is a fresh day with new grace.

Love (III)

Posted on March 11, 2013 by Tammy

Love (III) by George Herbert

Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back,

Guilty of dust and sin.

But quick-ey’d Love, observing me grow slack

From my first entrance in,

Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning

If I lack’d any thing.

“A guest,” I answer’d, “worthy to be here”;

Love said, “You shall be he.”

“I, the unkind, ungrateful? ah my dear,

I cannot look on thee.”

Love took my hand, and smiling did reply,

“Who made the eyes but I?”

“Truth, Lord, but I have marr’d them; let my shame

Go where it doth deserve.”

And know you not,” says Love, “who bore the blame?”

“My dear, then I will serve.”

“You must sit down,” says Love, “and taste my meat.”

So I did sit and eat.

I have been thinking a lot about love this week spurred on by an amazing chapter in The Good and Beautiful God, my small group, and the above poem by George Herbert. Is it a coincidence that a biography about Mother Teressa was planned for our homeschool curriculum at the same time? Questions about how I accept love, how I want to love others and what love really should look like are consuming my soul.

Thinking. Praying. Sharing.

Calling His name

Posted on March 3, 2013March 4, 2013 by Tammy

The 4 lane road in front of our apartment complex in China was being re-paved one summer. Soccer Dude was around 6 years old at the time and had just mastered riding his two-wheel bike. Nothing like a fresh paved road, that is closed to traffic, for a boy and his bike. (Photo from that summer on the left. Hasn’t he grown?!)

One afternoon I was following him slowly with Roo on a trike when I realized that he was having a hard time with his brakes. He was going faster and faster and I started to call out to him. That was when I saw a bus driving from the university gateway. I froze in the middle of the road and without thinking screamed – “Jeeeesus! Jeeeeesus!”

You should have seen the shocked looks of all the pedestrians. Not everyday do you see a crazy white woman screaming “Jesus” at the top of her lungs in the middle of a communist country. Soccer dude did not get hit – Praise the Lord – and afterwards it seemed a bit funny. I guess you never know what you will do until a crisis moment actually hits.

I have thought of this story often – last night being one of them.

I was leaning over the rail of the crib, for the third time, desperately trying to sooth Little Man during a night filled with terrors. I wanted to take away his fear. Maybe if I rock him on the left instead of the right. I hum, offer up a half hearted exhausted prayer and try to guess at the Chinese words he is muttering in his sleep. Maybe if I turn the fan on or turn the music down……

I worry, make a list, read a parenting book – surely I can find the answer and fix things for my children if I would just dig deeper or try harder.

Then it happens – usually when I have come to the end of my rope – in desperation my heart cries “Jesus, Jesus!”

If there is nothing else I have learned as a parent, its that I can’t do this on my own. I don’t know how to help my child who is having a hard time making new friends. I can’t protect their heart from hurt; I don’t have wise words every time an identity crisis rises. Heck, I can’t get them to stop fighting and whining! So often I feel frozen – not knowing what to do or what to say.

Wishing for what came so naturally to me that day in China to become my daily habit. Not the screaming crazy white woman part, but the calling on Jesus as a knee jerk reaction part. Can you imagine how different my family would be if I just would remember to call on His name?! I need not to wait till the crisis, but to call His name from the beginning.

Jesus, Jesus!

Make it so.

Let’s keep talking

Posted on February 26, 2013February 27, 2013 by Tammy

The first question I get asked when folks hear us talking in Chinese as a family, “how do you keep it up?” I must admit we are not doing as well as I had dreamed. I have worked so hard to learn what little Mandarin I know – not making my children go through that same pain when they are in their 30’s is on my short list. I was ambitious – told myself we would only speak Chinese at home and English when we are out and about. Reality check! But, we have found a few things that have helped us not to forget what we know. (Now if I could find a way not to forget where I set down my keys.)

For those of you who have asked, here are a few resources for language that we would recommend. Of course we watch us some Ni Hao Kai Lan – but sometimes you need a bit more than that. So here you go:

Our newest find that is so super fun…..Elmo in Chinese! Little Man loves it and it is great practice for the big kids too. You can watch episodes on YouTube here.

Isn’t that fun!! We all were so excited to find these. We spent Sunday evening with a bowl of popcorn sitting around the desk watching all the episodes. I found it on the Kid World Citizen web page, a great site with many resources.

If you have younger kids who enjoy Elmo then Little Pim would also be a good tool for you. These short videos introduce a lot of new words in an easy and engaging way similar to Baby Einstein movies. Older new langauge learners also could learn a lot by watching over little brother’s shoulder! Bonus – they aren’t to annoying.

For our big kids they started out learning Chinese using the Monkey King Curriculum. The books are colorful, they teach characters along with vocabulary in a fun way. They come with a CD. If the parent doesn’t know how to pronounce the words….no sweat. Learn right along with your child as you listen together. My kids started this series in Kindergarten and advanced a level each semester.

Monkey King might not be hard core enough for some of you….if that is the case I say dive in and purchase Rosetta Stone. We use it three times a week for the older kids (and Momma has used it too!) Little Monkey who is in Kindergarten this year dabbles with it too, but it is a bit hard for her. Rosetta Stone is expensive, but worth the money. Without it I am sure I would have forgotten much of my language skills over the past two years. There is a version for homeschooling that comes with audio ( Rosetta Stone) but we have used the regular version.

Before we were ready to purchase Rosetta Stone we used Pimsler. It is a third of the price of Rosetta Stone which seemed more doable for us at the time. It is great for helping you learn conversations – actually helps you jump in with common phrases quicker than you would learn with Rosetta Stone, but if you are a visual learner it can be difficult. (aka miss artist here needed the Rosetta Stone graphics!)

Good luck to you all! If you have a resource that has worked well for you I would love to hear about it. We are always looking for more ways to keep up our language skills. Let’s keep talking and encouraging each other as we learn!

Family field trip

Posted on February 18, 2013February 25, 2013 by Tammy

Fun trip to the zoo to finish off our full semester study of flying creatures. All these fun birds to look at and what do my children want to sit and watch…..the chickens. Could have saved myself the hour drive and the entrance fee and just let them watch the 7 in my backyard all afternoon….like every other afternoon. sheesh! Okay, Little Man was interested in something besides the chickens – the trucks driving by the zoo caught his attention!

All joking aside, we had a GREAT day. Little Monkey declared it the best late birthday trip EVER (enter sing song voice) and Roo reminded us that we are a “zoo family!” Our love started with a family membership when she was a baby and we have taken great joy in visiting any zoo we can all over the world. Fun hobby. To bad their isn’t a zoo membership that would cover that.

Here are a few photos from our day. Heavy on the birds….well, because that is what we have been studying. Okay, so a few of some super cute kids too! 😉

And Little Man is ready to go!

True Story

Posted on February 16, 2013February 16, 2013 by Tammy

I wish the stories I am about to share were fictional.

A woman I had known for two hours felt that it was appropriate to say in front of my son, “so because of his birth defect his birth parents didn’t want him, right?”

Not twenty minutes later, Little Man and I were walking across a parking lot. We were taking our time enjoying the warm afternoon. He was wearing shorts making his brace and prosthetic visible. A truck slowed down next to us and the driver rolled down his window. (I am not kidding!) “Lady, what is wrong with your son?”

We get into McDonalds to enjoy a mommy and son date. While waiting in line, the woman next to me says, “He has one blue leg and one…..well he is cute anyway.”

Three in a row – in less than an hour.

Many times we are seen as a curiosity, entertainment, weird, or the drastic opposite – super heroes. None are accurate and they make me sad. Yes, our family looks different and our children were born with things that make them unique – but that is the beauty of God’s creativity. I wish that people could see that rather than a limb difference or skin tone.

As mom to this crew, I am learning that I need to educate and advocate for the sake of my family. Some days are harder than others. Sometimes it feels lonely and I just get tired. I don’t want to explain myself or defend my family. I would just like people to “get” us – treat us like any other family.

Thankfully, this is a true story.

I was waiting in line in our small town’s post office. A woman, who knew my husband as a child, introduced herself. I enjoyed the small talk (ahhhh, adult conversation) including fun stories of her life as a swimming instructor. “I would be excited to teach Little Man to swim this summer.” she offered without missing a beat.

Just when you feel exhausted.

I thought I would cry right there in the post-office. She was God’s gift to me. She saw the empty pant-leg and my son’s potential to be just like other kids. Even more she was excited to be a part of his journey and to get to know our family.

What a different afternoon encounter. I am sure she had no idea why tears sprang to my eyes and she wouldn’t be able to understand the value of the gift she had just offered me. It was so much more than swimming lessons. God whispered into my heart and I didn’t feel alone.

Making my own true story.

The deep blessing of being offered swimming lessons shocked me into remembering that simple gestures can make significant impact. So just thinking…how can I be like the swimming instructor and not like the curious truck driver?

Lord, help me today to use my talents, time and money to encourage those around me.

She’s Six

Posted on February 13, 2013 by Tammy

The sweet six year old behind this smile is one of my greatest joys in life! We are celebrating her life today.

Little Monkey – who is working so hard at learning to read. Her favorite things are coloring books, legos and barbies. She loves eating rice and any sweets. Totally my best helper, she can wash a sink of dishes in no time flat.

One super fun thing this year has been watching her grow into the roll of big sister. She often is toting around her two year old brother (who seems almost as big as she is). She loves entertaining him (as long as he doesn’t get into her legos!) Crazy to think that she was the one always hanging on my leg – now she is the big sister who is setting a beautiful example of grace and love for little man. She has become the one who is quick to share, offer a sympathetic pat and a creative way to pass the time.

So…you can imagine we were anxious to shower our sweet girl with extra attention today! Birthday gifts, cake, meeting friends for a play-date at the park and watching a movie rather than doing school has made for a special birthday afternoon.

We are so incredibly blessed to have her in our lives. Really couldn’t do life without her.

Happy Birthday Little Monkey!

The gift of a son

Posted on February 3, 2013February 8, 2013 by Tammy

I have something special to share with you! Here is a video of friends of ours who recently have adopted domestically. I was so blessed and challenged to hear how they view adoption, their heart for their son’s birthmom and how this journey has increased their faith.

via Four Oaks Tallahassee website | fouroakschurch.com

Worth it

Posted on February 2, 2013February 3, 2013 by Tammy

When the clock was creeping later and later into the afternoon, I decided to peek in and catch a glimpse of my sleepy boy. What I found…..

both my boys curled up in the crib.

Tears sprung to my eyes as I gazed at my 11 year old protectively curled up with his sleeping 2 year old brother. Soccer dude gave me a sheepish grin and whispered, “he doesn’t like sleeping alone.”

When we began the journey of adding to our family through adoption one of the questions that weighed heavily on our hearts was how it would affect our first two children. We wondered if adding more children would spread us to thin. Would they bond with a new sibling? I even asked myself silly questions like could they handle sharing a room and their toys.

We had one boy and one girl. The perfect family, or was it…..

I am so glad that God called us to step out of our comfort zone to adopt.

Sure we would have had more money to spend on gadgets. I probably wouldn’t be sporting the dark circles under my eyes from added sleepless nights. If there were only two, I might run them around to added activities. The college fund would be bigger. I wouldn’t be as scatter brained from running after 4 energetic young’ns and parent retirement would come earlier.

It can be confusing because our culture holds all of those things in high regard.

What we have learned:

Having your own room is overrated, but having a best friend always ready to play barbies – priceless. When we were pulling out the toys and clothes Roo had out grown we did hear “Hey, that was mine.” But, we are pushing through the selfishness and finding the gem of sharing.

When our new addition fights against our family ways – we have learned that grace covers differences. Rice and spaghetti can go together. Trust us.

Soccer Dude had to move his lego collection to the play room in order to make room for the crib. Some might think that is to much to ask of an 11 year old. When I look at my boys who adore each other – I think of what we would have lost if we hadn’t made room for one more.

I thought this was a journey to add to our family – actually it has been a journey that has helped my faith and our family to grow in ways I never could have imagined.

Adoption is worth it.

Eggs

Posted on January 21, 2013January 29, 2013 by Tammy

We have more chickens and our first eggs. We are becoming regular farmers around here….morning chores, sending the kids out to gather eggs, coop shoes stacked outside the back door. All I need is an apron and a cow to finish it all off.

Documenting the first eggs and showing off Soccer Dude’s gathering skills…in his pjs of course. He is a dedicated farmer up and out before he even gets dressed!

Our beautiful morning cook. The fresh eggs were calling our names.

Into the pan.

The egg challenge – we scrambled store bought eggs and the fresh to see which would taste better. Everyone agreed the dark yoked wonders from our sweet birds took the prize. (Well, little man who loves all eggs didn’t seem to care which eggs he ate as long as we kept them coming!)