Homeschool wrap up

It is 10 a.m. and I am sipping a cup of coffee and munching on a cookie.  Ahhh.  Lazy mornings of summer have arrived and I am so thankful.  I think I need the break from homeschooling as much or more than the kiddos do, but I am glad to report that I am not in a place of desperation.  This has been a great year of homeschooling and I think for the first time I have loved it.  It has only taken me five years to hit a stride – a place where the kids are thriving and so am I.

I have begun planning for next year….ordering curriculum and prepping to school four kiddos (yikes!)  Before I can turn to much attention to our next season of school, I want to recap how far the kiddos have come.

 

IMG_7690

 

Soccer Dude:  my 6th grade graduate!

Favorite subject:  “If I had to choose something besides reading, I guess it would be math.”  (We are loving Teaching Textbooks around here!  He still reads so much that it is difficult keeping him supplied in books.  Praise God for the Kindle!)

Most improved: His Chinese skills have blown me away.  He can sit down and read entire paragraphs of Chinese characters putting me to shame.  He has his daddy’s aptitude for languages.

Hobbies: training his pet birds, learning computer coding

This summer I would like to: go fishing

 

 

 

 

 

IMG_7635

 

Roo: my 4th grade graduate!

Favorite subject: art and music

Most improved:  She has fallen in love with reading this year!  What a joy to find her hiding in a fort finishing up the last chapter of a book!  Her favorite book is”From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler”  She mostly likes reading on the Kindle….”because you can read a long chapter book and not even know it.  On the Kindle you don’t see how thick and scary a book might seem.”

What I want to do this summer: learn to play the piano

What do you want to be when you grow up:  a hair dresser just like Nana used to be.  (The girl knows I need help with haircuts!)

 

 

 

 

 

IMG_7717

 

Little Monkey: my 1st grade graduate!

Favorite subject:  Everything!

Favorite food: rice

Most improved: She went from sounding out letters to reading chapter books!  (I must admit that homeschooling 1st grade is one of my favorites!  It is so rewarding to teach a child to read!)  Her favorite books are Henry and Mudge.

What I want to do this summer:  eat at Chick-fil-A and go to a water park.

What do you want to be when you grow up:  a gymnasts and ballerina who plays the flute.

 

 

 

 

 

 

IMG_7726

 

Little Man: is graduating to a larger prosthetic leg!

Favorite subject: Disney planes, coloring and reading Cars books

Most improved: He is coloring in the lines, is a verbal dude who now can ride a tricycle without his prosthetic being strapped to the peddle.

What he wants to do this summer: eat ice cream and go for wagon rides.

What do you want to be when you grow up:  “I don’t want to be big.  I will always be your baby.”  (No I didn’t prompt him to say that.  Yes, it made me cry a little and he will now get double dessert!)

 

 

Afternoon learning fun and split pants.

IMG_7899

 

We have the benefit of two worlds…homeschooling and an international school.  In the mornings you will find us huddled around our coffee table learning together, but by noon the three big kids are packed up and heading out the door to the international school.  There they have Chinese classes and specials (art, music, PE, and library) plus some invaluable time with others kids who live in a culture that is not their own.  They have made some great friendships and their Chinese, including reading and writing, has improved dramatically over the year.

This past week the school hosted an art fair.  It was a great time for all….well except for Little Man.  Oh, that is a story in itself!!  I will get back to that.  Each of the big kids had projects in the fair and I loved taking it all in.  Got a few ideas for my classes too!  Their art teacher is amazing.  So appreciate her hard work!

 

IMG_7919

 

The highlight of the afternoon was Roo winning the award for best project of the 4th grade.  She came up with this monochromatic masterpiece on her own using many different materials to show texture.  When she first showed me her piece, I again was amazed by her natural talent.  What a blessing to have our little artist encouraged by winning.  So proud of her.

 

IMG_7915

 

 

While big sister was shining, Little Man was trying to hide.

Let’s start the story by saying that he has become Mr. Independent of late.  When he headed to the restroom on his own the thought ran through my head that it could be disastrous.  I should always listen to that still small mommy warning voice in my head!

He didn’t aim well.  He got wet.  Really wet.

So in the middle of the art show I was scrambling to find him a change of pants.  I found a gracious Chinese mom who was willing to loan us her son’s extra set of clothes.  I was so relieved until I noticed that they were traditional Chinese split pants.  Split pants are exactly what they sound like.  There is a split in the middle….for easy aiming, I might add, so that you don’t have wet clothes with young ones.  No pull-ups around here, young kids walk around with it all hanging out of the split.

So poor little man had to be wet or exposed.  Hard choice.  He really hates being wet.

True to his nature, he pulled those pants on and turned those cheeks towards me and shook them singing, “booty, booty, booty!”

The rest of the afternoon he spent wrapped up in my sweater trying to hide that cute little booty.

He said, “I don’t like these “showing” pants.  I might have been born in China, but I am American and we don’t wear split pants!”

For many reasons, it was an afternoon we won’t forget!

No photos of Little Man from the day! 😉

Thoughts on joy and sidewalk chalk

There is a line in a hymn we sang growing up that I never understood.

sorrow and love flow mingled down.

It seems that love and joy can’t possible be in the mix of sorrow and hopelessness.  But, I think I am finally catching on.

Image 9

A family who adopted one of XN’s kids last week brought us some art supplies including some sidewalk chalk.  I could hardly wait to share it with the kids and was so relived to have a sunny afternoon.  You should have heard the kids squeal when I suggested we take art class outside.  It took some effort to get us all outside and then some doing to pick just the right section of concrete to be graced by our colorful designs.  Oh, but once we were out there…the fun really began!  The cook spied us from the kitchen window and brought us all a treat of homemade yogurt and bananas.  One boy said, “It is like a birthday party!”

I can’t describe the joy.

Image 6

How blessed I am to help a child from his wheelchair down on to the ground so that he can create.  I stood back and watched them and I seriously thought my heart would burst.

An hour later I helped wheel the same children back inside.  My cup was overflowing, but a grief I can not described rested in my heart as well.  They didn’t want the magic of the afternoon to come to an end.  I didn’t want to leave them behind again.  I can not walk away from that orphanage leaving the precious souls I have come to love without shedding a tear.

 

Image 7

 

Most of my life I have thought that true faith means pushing aside sorrow.  I shouldn’t say anything negative.  Sickness, grief, and sadness are things to be pushed aside with thoughts of better days.

 

“oh the wonderful cross….”

The thing is, my faith actually is based on something pretty brutal and sad, but at the same time called wonderful, beautiful and the only source of true hope.

So this might sound crazy, but I am learning to sit in the midst of sadness and sickness and see beauty and feel joy.  I have mentioned (in many intense blog posts over the past months…wooeheee, don’t unsubscribe yet) that offering art class isn’t enough for these kids.  That is true; adoption is what they really need.   But, it is a beginning.  I am sitting with them on the warm cement and laughing with them.  Then, when they don’t want to go back to the halls of the institution they call home….I cry with them.  That is all I have to offer.  In that offering I am finding a freedom to dance with joy and cry in sorrow in the same space in the same moment.

 

Image 3

 

 

I can believe Gd in the midst of hopelessness.  I can believe him as I sit in sorrow.  I can wear those emotions that in the past have seemed like the bench marks of shallow faith and actually see they are the opposite.  My ideas of joy and love are dying and being replaced by grace that understands JC is in the midst of all pain.

A remake of that same hymn from my childhood states it so much better than I could.

O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, 
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless Your name

Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all.


 

“My life would be so different…”

Image 1All I can do is eat a chocolate cupcake and cry; It was that type of orphanage day.

It started out great. I found some really fun foam clay stuff in the market that I bought to take into the kids. Monday’s class loved it and I was confident that it would be a hit with today’s group as well. It was so fun that the nannies went and gathered more children to use the clay that I had left over.

I was surprised with one visitor, a 16 year old boy I had seen around the orphanage wandering around bouncing a ball. He has been in foster care, but for education is back at the orphanage enrolled in a vocational school.

He hasn’t done well.

He now has been kicked out of the school.

He is a healthy normal teen…no special needs…other than having no family.  Anger bubbles behind his dark black eyes and his intelligence is used on sarcastic remarks.  Today he came and played with clay and made a snail.

I had brought in a cow that Roo had made to give the class some ideas of things they could make.  As I explained my daughter had made it, my new friend’s head came up.  “You have children?”

“Show him the photo, teacher!” another student exclaimed knowing I carry a photo of my kids in my purse.

I pulled it out and handed it over.  Usually I hear comments about having so many children, his comment:  “You have adopted two kids?  From where?”  I told him where Little Monkey and Little Man were born and he asked another question.  “Why not from here?”

My heart sank as I understood where the conversation was going.  I answered lightly with a forced cheerfulness, “Maybe someday.  You never know what the future holds.”

His response was anything but light and I am sure his words will burn in my heart for the rest of my life.  With anger in his tone and raw pain flowing from his eyes he said, “If someone had adopted me my life would be so different.  Tell your kids they are lucky.”

I looked him in the eyes and said the only thing that came to mind, “I AM SORRY.”

I am not sure what I am sorry about really.  Sorry that I didn’t adopt him.  Sorry that his birth family abandoned him.  Sorry that his foster parents weren’t forever?  Sorry that the children at school are brutal to the orphan?   Sorry that he doesn’t have a family name?   Sorry that he has allowed anger to fester in his heart?

Image

There is nothing I can do for this young man, but it is stories like this that fuel my passion.  All children need families….forever families.   I wish I could scoop up all the kids in that orphanage and bring them home with me.  I can’t.

But, what I can do….

tell their stories.

I want the stories of these children to change me.  I want to serve and sacrifice knowing that there are millions of children who need hope.  One child at a time, I want to offer hope.  Even a step further….I want to share their stories hoping that many will hear and take the hard step toward doing something about kids like this.  We must advocate.  We must adopt.  We must share resources.  We must tell their stories so their voices can be heard.

Because feeling sorry for them and saying sorry isn’t enough.

Double Digits

IMG_7635I am sure you anticipate a sappy post about another one of my babies getting older.  It has been established; I am a sap.  If an anti-growth serum existed, I would for sure inject my children.  I love the stage and age we are at…always…and hate to see each season pass.

Usually.

But, Roo, who turned 10 today, said something that stopped this sap in her tracks.

I asked how she wanted to celebrate her birthday this year.  After a moment of thought she replied, “could I celebrate by going to the orphanage and helping you with art classes this week?”

She is growing up to be such a compassionate young lady.  I love how she thinks of others and is looking for a way to give of herself.  I am proud of her and her soft heart.

 

We have often been asked how adoption and moving to Asia has impacted our children.  Two different questions, but yet kinda the same.

I am not exactly sure how to answer them, but when I hear my 10 year old ask to help at the orphanage I know that the impact has been real and good.  I wouldn’t change it for the world.

All this to say…I am excited to see how Gd is shaping this young soul and I guess I wouldn’t slow it down one bit.  I probably am half way through my time with her in my home (sniff, sniff) but I think the most exciting part is yet to come!

 

IMG_7786

 

IMG_7791

 

Lost art

994617_62713525

We made flowers out of clay today at the orphanage.  I was so impressed with how well the kiddos did.  It took us an hour and a half of intense hard work…but wow!  Some of the kids made little clay pots, others made clay roses and still others colored the craft sticks we used for stems.  At the end of class I stood back with admiration.  These kids are amazing and they do great work.

My pride quickly evaporated as I placed the newest project next to last weeks.  The walls of the hallway and classroom are quickly filling up – wind socks, painted cherry blossoms, googley-eyed bunnies, coffee-filter butterflies…the shelves and walls are getting full.  Usually I enjoy the work that brightens up the orphanage…but today,

well…

Maybe I felt differently because I just had four excited children who the day before had given me handmade gifts for Mother’s Day.  I now have new paper flowers, a clay jewelry dish and a hand painted poem about mothers.  I also am gathering together all the sweet projects my four treasures have made over the school year.  I carefully put them together in a plastic file folder marked with the grade and year.

As I was showcasing my students’ artwork, it hit me that there is no end of the year envelope for my students.  I can’t send home these beautiful flowers to be cherished by a mother.  Instead I propped this weeks work up next to last weeks.  I guess when there is no more room I will throw away the faded projects from the beginning of the year to make room for the summer projects.

What a loss.

The art my students make should be admired not just by me, but by a mom.  Their masterpieces are worthy of a refrigerator and should not be taped to the green walls of an institution.

Just another reminder of what is missing.

There are birth mothers out there somewhere who don’t realize how far their children have come and the potential they represent….special needs and all.  There are adoptive families who have yet to step out in faith to embrace the blessing of parenting these sweet ones….special needs and all.

Dear friend who is thinking about adopting, I am gathering the masterpieces of a dear one who hopes you will come soon.  Don’t allow the blossom to wilt.  Don’t let time pass and the art work be thrown away.

 

photo credit: photo by flaivoloka

 

worst hair cut ever…just smile and nod.

I love living overseas.  Different culture, food, friends, travel, language….okay maybe the learning language bit is a stretch, but usually I love living cross-culturally.

Until I need a haircut.

When I walk to the door of a salon I can see the looks of excitement or horror (depending on how the stylist feels about his first time cutting a blonde head).  Yes, here usually the person who shampoos is a woman and the person cutting is a male.  I go in armed with a photo and my best practiced hair cut phrases but I must admit they do me no good.  I have lived in Asia for a total of five years….and yet have I had a good haircut.

I had high hopes this week.  Two months ago I was sure I had the worst bowl cut ever so how could it be any worse? sigh!

With little dude in tow, I tried a new place a few blocks from campus.  Maybe my bad cuts came from always going to the cheap places on campus?  It was a theory.  What my theory did not take into account….my coping mechanism when it comes to my lack of language skills.

I smile and nod.

It seriously is the worst habit that I have ever ever ever picked up.

I showed the dude the perfect cut I had printed from Pinterest and said, “short in the back leave the front alone.”  That is where it gets fuzzy.  The shampoo girls were quickly falling in love with my charming son and I was momentarily distracted as I realized that he was scoring fist-fulls of candy.

That is when it happened.

I smiled and nodded.

The next thing I knew a chick was bringing out little rods.  I started to sweat and rethink everything I had said from the time I had entered the salon.  Those sure look like perm rods to me.  Nah….couldn’t be.  I didn’t say anything that sounds like “I want a perm.”  Wait!  What is the word for perm?

“This will make your hair fat in the back.”  I smiled but told myself not to nod as the stylist was pointing to the picture I had brought in.

“Oh, no,” I replied.  “My hair isn’t exactly like hers.  I just want it cut like hers.  You know short in the back and longer in the front.  Can you cut it short in the back?  I want it cut.”

Maybe the more I say “cut” the more they would understand.

“I don’t think she understands.”  I hear one of the shampoo girls say to the stylist as she gives my son even more candy.  “No, no she understands.  Her hair is so flat she needs this.”

I guess my thin limp hair is understood in all cultures and everyone wants to try to help me out.  Did I mention that I was sweating by now and I had lost the smile along with the nod?  I have had perms in the 90’s and I do not want to go back to those days!  Kinky and big in my book isn’t better than straight and limp.

“Ahhh, my son is with me I need to have this done quick.  I don’t think I have time for your plan.  Could you just cut it short in the back?”

I walked out with straight hair….but it is not short in the back.

Little Man gave it a pat and asked, “What happened?”  Even my three year old knows that the bowl cut was better.

The next time you see me – bad hair and all – please show me some grace.  I love living overseas but it isn’t easy on my hair.  You can comment on it, but I am sure I will only smile and nod.  Oh wait, I am trying to break that habit.

Priceless

When I was in High School I babysat….a lot.  I loved those three kids like they were my own sister and brothers and dreamt of a day that I would be the mom.  I burnt their canned ravioli, figured out how to change diapers and to give baths (although there were many times I seemed to need every towel in the cabinet to get it done).  I learned that you shouldn’t leave a baby on a counter who might roll and figured out the art of pretending that I knew what to do even when I was clueless.

Just thinking about those babysitting days and how grateful my children should be that they were spared the many mistakes that I learned in my teens.  I never have let another child roll from a counter top….thank you AJ Lobb.

 

IMG_7653

 

Now I am the mom.  It is a job that isn’t over after a few hours and I don’t get paid $2.50 an hour.

I didn’t know that being a mom meant breaking up a fight for the millionth time and that I would need to be a detective to find out who broke the cup that was hidden behind a dresser.  I had no idea that I would need to be a counselor when faced with a spelling word meltdown (ok, honestly it was me having the meltdown over the spelling list not one of the kiddos, but still.) Cook, nurse, friend, teacher….I have decided that there is good reason mom’s are worth more than $2.50.

 

IMG_7644

 

 

I hauled the kids out on campus for photos.  I had it in my mind that I needed some new photos of my sweet babies to celebrate mother’s day.  They had it in their minds that I was being sappy.

I downloaded the photos and began to edit and I could hardly stand it.  (Sappy as charged.)  Looking at their smiling faces (okay and a few grumpy “aren’t we done yet” poses) it hit me again how blessed I am.  I feel like my heart walks around outside of my body….a piece with each one of these precious four.

Priceless.

Somedays I get tired of being referee, maid, dentist, coach mom, but those are the days that I have forgotten to slow down and take a good look at my four crazies.

So for Mother’s Day this is what I want…..a good look so I can remember.  Motherhood is priceless and I don’t ever want to take my four blessings for granted.

IMG_7558-2

 

IMG_7729

 

IMG_7588

 

 

 

 

Belonging to no one

Image 6He greeted me with a smile and a half wave.  I smiled back and took in the backpack hanging on the back of his chair and the keen eyes that didn’t miss anything going on in the feeding room.  So rare – an alert child in a room where most are immovable and unaware.

As I coaxed the child who was half laying in a wheelchair to swallow the noodle and veggie mush that was the day’s fare, I continued to peek over at our new friend.  “Surely he is a child of one of the nannies.” I convinced myself.  “He can’t be a new arrival.  He won’t live here.”  I sighed deeply with relief when the cook entered and planted a kiss on his cheek as she handed him a bowl of noodles.

He watched us as we fed the others and cleaned up after himself.  “He belongs to someone.” I told myself again as I watched his mature, smart and careful behavior.  Then he stood up.  His legs dragging slightly behind him.  I doubted.  As I left for the day I handed him a piece of bright blue paper and a handful of oil pastels.  The bit of comfort and entertainment this art teacher had to offer.  His alert eyes haunted me for the next several days.

 

I got my answers when I was introduced to a new student on Monday.  The very child I was sure belonged to one of the nannies.

But he belongs to no one….except to me, as a student, and to some nannies, as another child they need to care for.

Most people would assume the orphanage is an awful place filled with stressed nannies, uncaring directors, and neglected children.  The one in my city….is not like that at all.  It is common for me to see a teacher walking with an arm slung around the shoulders of a student.  The cook takes the time to feed the kids and ask them how they like the food while offering a joke and a smile.  (I even see the cooks slip candy to the kids while the nannies aren’t looking.)

Here’s a great example of the people I work alongside.  One afternoon, a nanny asked me to give special attention to one teen girl who is unresponsive in her bed…”Doesn’t she have beautiful eyes?”  This nanny has worked in the same room for 11 years and loves “her” kids who are bedridden and don’t respond to her compliments and happy chatter.

It isn’t just the staff….the director sets the tone as she shows me photos of children they hope will find families. They care.  The children call them “mamas” and the workers call it “a children’s home.”

I see the love and care they give the kids….it makes me proud.  They have risen above the normal horrors that surround an orphanage.  But I must admit I can’t bring myself to call the workers “mammas” and it will never be a home.

The three oldest students in my Monday class have lived at this institution all their lives….well at least the years they recall.  “You can call me Bruce.  Bruce Lee,” proclaims a charming older student proudly using his English. Mark, who is unable to use his arms, is able to make amazing art with his toes.  He finally told me to call him Mark after I pronounced his Chinese name so poorly for the first month of classes that he told me to just use English!  These guys now are closing in on their 17th birthdays.  Their time at the children’s home is coming to an end as they inch towards manhood.  There is a place for them to go – it is the elderly home across the courtyard that awaits them next year, where they will sit in their wheel chairs and wait out the rest of their lives.

If you have no parents, there is no one to fight for you, no one to answer your deepest questions, no one to cheer for you as you accomplish milestones.  You belong to no one. My students have a safe place to sleep, decent food to eat, teachers who care, which is more than some children in the world have — but that isn’t enough.

Image 2

So that Monday afternoon, I looked my new student in the eyes as I welcomed him to class with a paper plate, cotton, a set of googly eyes, and a smile.  It is what I had to offer as my heart was weeping.  He belongs to no one.  No one is fighting for him.  When he lost his balance and bumped his head, he was put in a wheelchair for safety.  His awkward gate keeps him from being able to attend school, trapping his keen mind.  I wonder how long his eyes will stay alert and bright without a mom or dad to fight for his education, hold him when he bumps his head and cheer for him when he tries to walk again.  Will he sit in my class for the next 8 years — until he also is too old to live in the children’s “home?”

For the sake of these boys I will continue to say to anyone willing to listen….kids need families.

When I came home from class yesterday, I was greeted by a bright eyed boy walking with a slightly uneven gate.  “Mommy,” he yelled.  “You came back!”  (He now says this whenever anyone of us comes home.) I can’t help but wonder how our little man happens to be in our home rather than in an orphanage.  Now every time I am greeted by our Little Man running to tackle me as I enter our home, I think about my nine year old student still waiting for a mommy to cling to.

It was a miracle that gave Little Man to our family.  Mostly that miracle is ours.  Our lives wouldn’t be the same with out him.  I wonder…how many families are missing out on the blessings that would be immeasurable?

Who will adopt my students?  Who will step out in faith and claim the blessing of being family to one so precious?

They don’t need a teacher.  They need families.  They need miracles.

Image

“He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.”
Isaiah 40:11

“He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars
 and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power . . .
His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
nor His delight in the legs of the warrior;
the Lord delights in those who . . .
put their hope in His unfailing love.”
Psalm 147:3

 

 

 

 

 

Open doors. Open house.

IMG_7505

 

Hubby has been teaching both European Culture and American Literature this semester.  You can imagine our surprise to find chapters on the Judeo-Christian roots of European culture and selected Bib readings right in the class textbook assigned by the university.   Not only did he get teach the topic but it lined up with Easter.  I really don’t think we have ever enjoyed celebrating more than we have this year.  What joy!

To add to the fun and to build relationships, we invited each of his classes to our apartment to dye eggs.   Not sure our little home could have handled any more people and oh the mess….but it was worth it!

 

IMG_7491

 

 

IMG_7451

 

 

 

IMG_7504

 

 

 

IMG_7522

 

IMG_7515

 

IMG_7484

 

IMG_7457

 

 

 

IMG_7461

 

IMG_7467

 

IMG_7534

 

Doing what we love doing best….building friendships and teaching!

IMG_7497