Family – Page 9 – Casting A Stone

Chinese New Year celebrations continue

Posted on February 4, 2014February 4, 2014 by Tammy

Day one of Chinese New Year (CNY) a chinese family is at the home of the husband’s family. Day two they are with the wife’s family. Day three is set aside for friends and co-workers. After spending day one with our orphanage “family,” we were thrilled to spend day three with some of Bryan’s fellow teachers at the university.

We went thinking we were prepared for an afternoon of food and celebrations that started with Chinese New Year gifts. For us dried dates and a packaged dried duck. Yes, you read that right. An entire duck, bone and all, pressed, salted dried and shrink wrapped in a package that is now only an inch thick. I have it in hand and still can not really fathom it. Never seen anything like it. We handed out oranges (a common CNY gift) and apple pie (not so common as you can imagine.) They weren’t sure what to do with the sweet gooey dessert that didn’t seem to be chopstick compliant and I sure don’t know what to do with a dried duck. Even.

The photo doesn’t do it justice. I almost had Hubby take it out of the package for a better photo, but then I can’t re-gift it to my neighbor if I bust it open. 🙂 I have since been told I can put the dried duck in a pot of boiling water and it will “pop” back out. Anyone want to come for dinner this week? I will make it!

Back to CNY celebrations….Our hosts out did themselves cooking. The food was amazing and my children ate so much I might have been embarrassed if we were in the States at an American home. Thankful for me, good Chinese hospitality offers you way more food than necessary and eating till you might get sick is expected.

Don’t get me wrong, even if we were good guests in how much we ate….we were still in our high glory. One of our littles dropped and broke a glasss, another spilled an entire tumbler of tea and yet another had a bathroom “incident.” The other families all have one child – mostly teenagers and are in awe of our whole crew. We proved their theory that I am crazy busy and half out of my mind….but our host said, “You are busy but happy.” Points for her looking deeper than our chaos and not getting angry at our crazies!

As I looked around the room as we lounged, chatted and made connections it hit me that it is moments like these (chaos and all) that are the reason we have come.

Not Earth Shattering, but Huge

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Tammy

We confirmed every stereo type of fat Americans as we pushed a cart to the check out line of the grocery store filled with 30 bags of snickers, 30 bags of peanuts, watermelon seeds, sweet rice cakes, and instant coffee. You should have heard the comments! And they didn’t even see how many oranges hubby bought at the market!

We confused and mystified the other shoppers and we also confused the nannies and workers at the orphanage who weren’t sure just what to make of us when we arrived gift bags in hand. As we passed out the treat bags today, the comments were of a vastly different nature. We often had to repeat ourselves explaining that we were giving them a gift….just to wish them a happy new year…just to make working today feel a bit better….just to give us a chance to love them and share with them a greater love. (OK granted, I might have had to repeat myself a few times due to faulty Chinese. Full disclosure!)

I would love nothing more then to have an earth shattering story to share with you as a result of today.

Not earth shattering, but as the nannies looked me in the eyes smiled and asked me to make sure I didn’t miss giving a bag to the worker at the end of the hall. That felt huge.

When I walked into the kitchen and our kids gave bags to the cooks and they made a big deal over meeting my family – that felt huge.

When we were invited into the room of one of my students to share snacks and tea with his roommates, it was a moment that took me beyond being a teacher – that felt huge.

I wave at the gate guard every time I come and go from the orphanage. After giving him his bag today, he waved back. Huge.

I am not sure how to explain the door that has been flung open. For reasons beyond myself, I have been given permission not only to teach art classes, but also to have full access to the orphanage (well, except for the infant room. More on that in a different post.) Full access just doesn’t happen. I am able to come and go, play with the children, pop into different rooms, and give attention to whatever child I feel led to love on that day. I then help feed dinner to the older disabled children to finish off my time. It is weird to have a foreigner walking around helping and loving kids. The other workers don’t know what to do with me. Today I hope they can understand me a bit more.

A smile from a nanny, a question about my family, and a wave from the guard….they all feel like huge steps toward the goal of deeper relationships and built trust.

One step at a time.

I love knowing it will make a difference – in me and hopefully to those around me.

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On a family note:

I didn’t take one picture today. Can you believe that? Little Man handed out bags that were almost the size of him….it was adorable, but you will have to just pretend you can picture it! I am sure the memories we made today as a family will stick with us with or without photos.

Had a friend question me last week about taking all four of our kids to help. Surely taking two adopted children back to an orphanage would be painful and might cause some meltdowns. We considered that and in the end decided to pr@y hard and take the risk.

Loving others and reaching out isn’t always safe, easy and without pain. If my time at the orphanage hasn’t taught me anything else, it has taught me that. To be honest, I could say that about adoption too.

All four kids did great.

Actually the introvert of our crew, Soccer Dude, was the one I thought would have a “moment” when a child latched on to him. He turned and wrapped the child in a big bear hug and smiled. Serving today took him out of his comfort zone, but I would say that loving the kids at the orphanage will make a difference in Soccer Dude’s life and then in turn make a difference in the lives of others as well.

So maybe not earth shattering, but today was huge…in many ways.

Chinese New Year Gifts －过年的礼物

Posted on January 29, 2014 by Tammy

The only way for me to describe Chinese New Year (CNY) is to equate it with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the Fourth of July all rolled into one. Everyone travels and visits family….every night for at least a week thus the country comes to a grinding halt for one big party. Gifts of fruit, new clothes, and money in red envelopes are given. Special foods are made like dumplings and long life noodles. Kinda sounds like Christmas and Thanksgiving on steroids, right?

The Fourth of July part….well, that’s the fireworks. Lots of them. Every night. It is amazing the first night….one of my most vivid memories from our first CNY was our neighbors hanging a broom handle from their 6th floor apartment window with lit firecrackers dangling from it. Unbelievable. Bryan was amazed at the people standing in their living rooms and shooting Roman Candles out the window. Seriously, for a week it sounds like we live in the middle of a war zone.

On a side note, I also had to do some creative shopping this week to make sure we were stocked for food and other essentials. Restaurants, the market and most stores close for about the next week.

So how are we celebrating?

We are ready with oranges, red envelopes and the fixings for dumplings, but we decided to take our celebration up a notch this year.

As you can imagine having to work on Chinese New Year would be a huge bummer. But for the staff at the orphanage, there are still children who need to be fed and taken care of. You can’t close down a children’s home for a week of celebrations.

We have been given permission to bless the 30 nannies who have to work CNY by passing out gift bags. Nothing has been done like this before and we are thrilled to have the opportunity. We have prepared bags with favorite Chinese snacks, some American candy, instant coffee, oranges, and hand lotion. Our family is going to go from room to room handing out the bags during the children’s nap time. We are hoping it brings a bit of joy to the workers and lets them know they are appreciated for their hard work.

But more than that…..

Would you think about us on Friday? Well, actually it will be Thursday evening in the States! We are trusting that our gifts will be understood from the heart from which they are being given (gift giving in China is actually a tricky business). We want trust and relationships to be built through this gesture, but more importantly we would be seen as his hands and feet.

We will let you know how it turns out!

Till then, Happy New Year . 过年快乐！

Birthday fire!

Posted on January 13, 2014 by Tammy

If you are going to celebrate….go big is all I have to say….big pink with fire. Soccer Dude’s birthday cake (decorated for his favorite team) came with a bit of a surprise when the candle almost lit our whole apartment on fire. Chinese candles….wow, is all I have to say.

The store had one kind so I thought we would give it a try. I should have known it was going to be an adventure when it showed music notes and safety tips on the box. (I really should learn to read Chinese characters!) After the three foot flame upon being lit….it burst open with sparklers and singing “happy Birthday.” I wish I had known what was coming so we could have gotten it on video. Little man started to cry, the girls were screaming and the birthday boy….well in good 12 year old boy fashion he yelled “COOL” and blew with all his might saving us all from certain destruction!

The girls made me swear I would not buy a Chinese candle like that for their birthday cakes! Soccer Dude never wants me to buy candles in the States ever again. Boring! (No fire hazard, but boring!)

I would say that his birthday was calmer from then on, but we had his buddies over for a movie, pizza and nerf gun fun. Not calm, but super fun. He has made some very sweet friends since our arrival in Asia (don’t tell them I called them sweet…cool would be better!) Not every day would you see a group of 11 and 12 year old boys including a 3 year old little brother…with joy. They did. Little Man sat on the couch and shot the boys as they ran past during the nerf war. They pretended to die and made him laugh multiple times. Those are boys I am thrilled to have hanging out with my son!

There is something about the birthday of my first-born. Each year as it rolls around I get overly sentimental as I ponder how life has never been the same since I became a mom. This child came into the world easier than should be allowed (at my doctor’s appointment they sent me to the hospital saying he was about to fall out on his own. I hadn’t felt a thing. He was born two and a half hours later. I didn’t even miss my favorite Thursday evening show. See. It shouldn’t be that easy!) Three months into my new life as a mom, I was sure I could write a book on parenting. He ate well. Slept well. A dream. To be sure my bubble has popped along the way – read the other blog posts on my parenting and you will agree! I am more humble now.

This year as we stand at the edge of him becoming a teen – I feel like I am entering a whole new season of parenting, just as foreign as it was the day he made me a mom. I thought I would dread the teen years. But, I actually am excited. His questions challenge me. His dreams enlighten me. His passions astound me. How could I not be excited to see how God is going to use that as He grows into a man.

The best is yet to come!

Christmas Carnival @ the Orphanage

Posted on December 16, 2013December 16, 2013 by Tammy

We created memories on Saturday as a family along with 150ish children. The international school planned a carnival for the children at the orphanage and the two big kids and I were able to volunteer with the event. Games, Santa, balloons, prizes and snacks made for a special time for the kids whose days are often the same.

One 17 year old, who is unable to walk, was carried by four volunteers to the room of the party – it was the first time he had ever been out of his room. As I watched his eyes taking in the Christmas tree mine filled with tears. I am not sure that I ever have felt the joy of Christmas more than in that moment.

Soccer Dude helped run a game, (pin the carrot on the snowman), while I made balloon animals. Roo was asked to assist one of the younger children who was unable to walk. She pushed his stroller, fed him a special treat of unsweetened applesauce, made him an ornament and sat with him near the Christmas tree so he could take in the lights.

There are few moments that I feel truly successful as a parent, but Saturday as I watched my two kids I had a glimpse of the amazing people they are becoming. Compassion and love flowed through them in a way that made my mother heart burst. Roo explained to me later that she thought loving that boy was her Christmas gift to God. Watching her was all the Christmas gift I could ever want as well. All of the volunteers saw the children, many with severe handicaps, as precious little people made in God’s image. In that humble setting with simple games, Father was being glorified.

The afternoon flew by and before I knew it the time had come to take children back to their rooms. My two kids and I escorted our small charges back. It wasn’t a silent walk. “Oh mom, let’s ask if we can bring them home with us! We have enough love for two more brothers!” The pleas stopped in their throats as we entered the infant room and they saw all of the cribs…so many unclaimed brothers and sisters. My heart always stops when I enter that doorway too.

A new little one was sleeping on the bench in the far corner. I asked the nanny about him – one month old. All the faces at the party flashed before my eyes. This is where it starts. If there is no one who claims this child then he too will grow up as an orphan…unwanted, alone with no family name. Will he be 17 and only have seen the green walls of this room? At times it feels suffocating knowing there isn’t more that we can do.

As you can guess I now had a little one I was ready to bring home as well.

When I walk away from the children’s home, I always feel such a mix of joy and sorrow. This week two of my children walked with me. I listened as they processed the afternoon and I whispered a thankful pr@yer in my heart.

Thank you Ld for blessing our family through adoption – for teaching my children to love more deeply, to have compassion and see others the way you see them. Thank you for our adoption in JC.

We needed these children more than they needed us.

The tree

Posted on December 14, 2013 by Tammy

We went to buy a Christmas tree from THE florist shop that carries trees this time of year. They put out a few artificial trees with many bright blinking lights. There are not many ornaments to choose from, but many gigantic Santa heads for your liking to mount in your window, on your door or…..heck, I am not sure what they think we would do with huge Santa heads!! The children were all enthralled with the 6 foot dancing, saxaphone playing Santa. I must admit I found it pretty amusing myself. The store owner’s son, about 11 years old, found us amusing. He followed us around the store practicing his English and even walked three blocks with us toward our bus stop!

As a whole Christmas is not celebrated here which is why Santa heads can be found, but no nativity scenes. I have found misprint Christmas cards made by Hallmark at the supermarket, wreaths with Merry Christmas in spanish, and many of our students asked us when we would hang the children’s gifts on a tree (what? not sure where they got that idea!) Hubby also joked after the university Christmas party that included a white elephant gift exchange that somehow his least favorite holiday tradition/game has followed us across the world!! How his colleagues had heard of this holiday game, but have never heard of the birth of JC is unfathomable! Folks know about Christmas from the movies and many young people will go out to eat on Christmas eve with friends, but there is a lot of confusion about the holiday in general. But to be frank, isn’t there a lot of confusion about the holiday in the States. Shopping, decorating, baking (and family drama, if we are being honest) often are in the forefront of December rather than the true Christmas story.

One look around the floral shop turned Christmas and any thoughts of a perfect Christmas tree flew directly out of my brain. As I type this, our puny tree has four sets of LED lights, all white, but with different blinking patterns. Actually, it is perfect – a perfect way to keep the holiday in perspective for myself. It is about celebrating the amazing gift of JC not about perfectly executed traditions.

In the next week and a half we will be having many opportunities to share about Christmas. We would appreciate your thoughts and pr@yers. Open house with students where we will be decorating cookies and reading the story, local friends joining us at our home for Christmas baking…and the story, Hubby sharing about the true meaning of the holiday in his classes – it is going to be a week packed full of sharing. We are pr@ying for soft hearts and open ears.

We are lifting you up as well – that your holiday is blessed with many ways to keep the birth JC in perspective and that you also have opportunities to share the true meaning of the holiday.

Flu day 7 – thoughts from the trenches!

Posted on December 7, 2013 by Tammy

My daily reading was about the Israelites. I have read the story for years – but I was struck anew by Gd’s provision for them as they walked through the desert. Their sandals and clothes never wore out. They had food to eat and water when needed.

Usually I compare the provision for our work to this story. It is true we always seem to have enough. Indeed, I panic from time to time when I come up with my own plan, my own timing rather than waiting on Gd. That says something about lessons I continue to need to learn!

We have been struggling with a string of illness the past several weeks. It has seemed that someone in our family has been ill ever since we have arrived in Asia. Nothing serious – colds, stomach issues, a rash – the cherry on top has been the flu. It began 7 days ago and continues to reak havioc on our household. All four kids and now Hubby are sick at the same time. I was at my wits end – up at nights with sick kids, worried during the day about the youngest two who have fevers that seem to climb higher and not give up.

Yesterday, we were able to visit an American nurse practitioner at her office. As I stood before her as she checked my children I realized I was witnessing G0d’s provision for me. I needed peace of mind. I needed her to tell me that this flu would run it’s corse and we would survive.

G0d provides.

The kids are still sick this morning. G0d’s provision doesn’t mean that what worries and wears on us comes to an end. His provision doesn’t always look like what we have envisioned – yet He provides if we give him credit for it or not.

The Israelites weren’t to keen on manna as their provision! I wonder if I would have been part of the grumbling crowd. Today I choose not to be. I am thankful that God provided a friend to help my peace of mind during a rough flu week and I am confident that next week I will give him thanks that we are all well again.

Looking to recognize all the ways He provides for me.

Blessed.

New members of the family

Posted on November 24, 2013November 24, 2013 by Tammy

Ever wonder if God has a sense of humor? Wonder no more. I have a son who is border-line obsessed with birds. Last year it was chickens. Since our move to Asia he has embraced the typical pet here – lovebirds. Why is this funny….I HATE BIRDS. Actually trying to save face here. I don’t technically hate them. I fear them. Long story involving a bat in the church attic followed by an encounter with a very mean red-winged black bird. I won’t bore you with the details. (Trying to save face again in case you are wondering!)

I was content to live with my fear. God saw fit to give me a bird loving son. sigh!

I say I am overcoming my fear, but I must admit I hide in my bedroom when Soccer Dude has to open the cage to change the water or feed them. He is a respectful son. He actually takes the birds in the bathroom and closes the door to give me extra peace of mind as I hear them flapping and squawking.

So all that to introduce you to the newest members of our family…. Skittles (the green one) and Starburst (the yellow one.)

Behind bars they kinda look cute. Their song also is almost enjoyable.

One more thing….when Little Man had crawled on top of a stool and was figuring out the latch to open the bird cage, I suddenly saw many future funny blog posts about birds flapping through my house. Oh right, already wrote one of those. Surely I am safe. Right?! Oh Lord, have mercy!

Little Man Update

Posted on November 17, 2013January 8, 2014 by Tammy

One of our biggest concerns moving back to Asia centered around how to care for Little Man and his special needs. We live in the boonies without the resources available in the States. Although that is true, we are blessed to have western doctors, nurses and a therapist who live in our city.

Little Man started therapy last week and quickly fell in love with the therapist who is a bubbly American with a wide range of experience. We were thrilled to hear that her assessment of our little man paralleled what we had been told in the States. She picked up right where the last therapist left off and gave us exercises to do at home focusing on getting his leg strengthened.

One of the best things for him has been our apartment with hardwood floors. In Florida he didn’t care to wear his prosthetic at home due to the soft carpet. Here no prosthetic = sore knees. He has started putting his leg on in the morning and leaving it on all day long. The longer he wears it the more his other leg gets used and strengthened. Bonus.

We have had to adjust his prosthetic since arriving. This Little Man is intent on not staying little. He is growing so much and so fast which affects how his prosthetic fits. For now, minor adjustments have done the trick. We have researched getting a new one made here in China if there is ever the need, but have found no where.

No where.

It baffles me and makes me realize all over again the grim future most born in this country with limb differences have. When we pass a beggar on the street, I see what could have been.

Our little guy is walking proof that people born with disabilities are bright, amazing, loving people who add to society. Our Chinese friends are often shocked when they see all that he can do and how our family loves him. Even more, I think they are taken by surprise when this little dear wiggles into their hearts as well! Just this week a neighbor commented to a mutual friend of ours, “You know their son is adopted and disabled, but they carry him and love him like their own.” There is no better way to share the value of life with those around us then to show them. We are so thankful to have the opportunity….and desperate.

Desperate to see the other children with limb differences find forever families.

There really is little hope for them if they grow up in the institutions here. Pr@y with us that Dad will continue to soften hearts and provide families for these amazing children.

How city kids play in the snow

Posted on November 13, 2013 by Tammy

Snow doesn’t happen often here. We have lived for the last year in Florida and haven’t seen snow in awhile. Our youngest thought snow was white rain.

All those realities combined together equaled the perfect opportunity for this homeschooling momma to throw the lessons out the window and bundle up some excited kiddos (minus poor Soccer Dude who is suffering from another cold! sigh. Pray for us to beat this string of bugs!)

It took a bit of work to play in the dusting of snow that graced our apartment complex, but they found some good places to scrape the snow together. Little Man thought it was great fun and alternated between yelling “snooooowball!” and trying to eat it. Not a big fan of my kids eating polluted snow. I might be laid back enough to throw my homeschool plan out for the day….not laid back enough to let him eat the snow! There are limits.

It all ended with a bit of mischief. They gathered snowballs to take back to our apartment….”to show Soccer Dude” but when I saw them camped out at the window over the doorway to our apartment building a few minutes before Hubby was due home from teaching class, I realized there were two reasons for the snowballs! Good thing they have a fun Daddy who also enjoys a bit of mischief!