family – Page 7 – Casting A Stone

Four whole years

Posted on September 18, 2014September 18, 2014 by Tammy

I have been feeling like tomorrow is a big day for us, but I was hesitant to say anything to our girl. Maybe it is just me.

But my doubts were put to rest as Little Monkey slipped her hand in mine while walking back from the market. “It’s been four years, right?” she asked me abruptly. It took me a beat to catch on to what she was referring to, but then I realized. She had been watching the calendar and processing along with me. As I nodded she said, “You know for four whole years you have stuck with me. Now we have been together longer than we have been a part.”

It took my breath away to hear her say those words out loud.

It is a big deal.

Crazy how life can change so much in four years. Healing has taken place, love has grown, and now it is hard to remember life without our Little Monkey. Maybe that is why four years seems like a big deal. We now remember more togetherness than we remember apartness. There are more memories as a family and pre-family memories (for good or bad) have dimmed.

I will never forget meeting our daughter for the first time. She was scared to death of us; we were the first white people she had ever seen and she later told us she thought we glowed! Such a brave almost four year old who was led into her new life that day. I don’t remember her tears, but I will never forget how she stared straight forward with a determined look on her grim little face. She looked so much older than her years.

I thought again today how she seems older than her years. I promised her brownies to celebrate the day we became a family. She smiled and said, “Family is the best present of all.”

This marks four years from a birth….the birth of our family as it is now. That is the gift we are celebrating tomorrow. Without her, without adoption, we wouldn’t know the depths of love and what family really can be.

A Magic Bean for Parenting

Posted on September 12, 2014 by Tammy

Can I just tell you what my eldest said during homeschool reading time this week?

We start our morning sitting around the living room reading. Great learning moment. Can you picture the kiddos lounging around curled up in fleece blankets coloring as they listen. Well that happens sometimes. Also there are mornings when I have two fighting over the same coloring book, another making such loud airplane noises I can’t hear myself think (and I am supposed to be reading) and the fourth is curled up in the fleece blanket with his back turned away from me.

Yesterday was one such morning.

I was trying to get us all back on track as I asked a question from our science reading to my son who seemed so disengaged. “So what can you tell me about the part of our brain called the medulla?”

Without missing a beat he rolled over and with a grin replied, “I just learned that the medulla is responsible for all my involuntary reactions….like when I want to hit my sisters.”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

Learning moment became even better as it evolved into a teachable moment. Wouldn’t it be great if the medulla in addition to controlling our breathing and blinking would control our attitudes and how we treat others?

More than anything I want my children to learn to bring Glory to our Father by being responsible people who love and serve others. I don’t know about you all, but I spend so much of my time and energy as a mom, striving toward that goal. It is a maddening goal….one that I wish I could control, but know that I can’t. You pour in hoping that it will stick, but realizing that ultimately it is up to these little people to make their own choices. Scary.

I wish there was some list that included a silver bullet that would make our job as parents easier. You know….10 ways to ensure your kids will become kind and responsible adults. I have read blogs by those titles. Yes, I do click on them….even though I know it is a bunch of whoeey. (I made that word up. like it?)

Let me tell you another story that stars my smarty pants eldest son.

We get two suitcases each as we travel from the States back to our home in Asia. You can imagine the conversations we have as we decide what to include. (With homeschool supplies I must admit the left over weight and space is minimal.) As we unpacked our treasures at the end of our summer excursion to the States my son proudly handed me an early birthday present. He bought me a waffle iron and put it in his carry on. He was so excited to have such a special gift for me; he couldn’t wait until October. “Mom,” he explained, “You don’t bring much for yourself, always packing things for our schooling, I wanted to bring something fun for you.” As I held that waffle iron in my hands and realized how many books my reader must have taken out of his suitcase to make space for this gift….I was overwhelmed.

We now make waffles for breakfast every Monday morning. As I pull that iron out and as we eat, I am reminded that kindness and selflessness are rooted in the heart of my pre-teen son.

There are some mornings that parenting is ‘pull your hair out’ hard. But I am learning not to look for a magic bean that will make it easier, but to stay the course and keep reminders in front of me that progress is being made. If I focus on the moments where I need to talk over the fighting, if I keep count of the times I say, “We are kind and respectful to each other,” if I despair on the mornings that attitudes are bad and my goal seems so far off….then I know myself, I would quit.

Instead I am making a list of the moments that I see G0d forming the hearts of my children. I am keeping that list in front of me as a marker of how far we have come and where we are going.

There’s a 4 year old in the house

Posted on September 3, 2014 by Tammy

“I was born in China. You adopted me and now I am four.” That is his story and he is repeating it to me over and over. Sometimes it ends with the question, “So now I am always four?” His little mind is working hard to wrap his brain around the milestones we have been celebrating.

Within two weeks of each other we celebrated Little Man’s birthday and the day he became a Williams.

Although he is a big boy, this Little Man still loves to crawl up into momma’s lap and suck his thumb. He was snuggled in yesterday, his birthday. We had said that we were going to read a book, but the morning had been filled with the excitement of some gifts….new legos and little toy planes. He flew those toys all over the house and now he was out of gas. The book in my lap was quickly forgotten and his eyes became heavy. I took the moment to rock my boy again realizing that such moments are quickly passing as he gets bigger. Those long legs already hang over my knees. Who knows how many more times he will ask, “will you hold me?”

I now have been holding him for two years. He spent two years without me and we have been working hard to make up the moments we missed. I don’t know what he looked like as he entered the world and there is a woman somewhere who held him then and wonders what he looks like now, four years later.

We sang happy birthday to him after dinner. When we began our pitchy version of the song he began to turn circles dancing to his birthday song. What joy. My heart was full as I watched him. Celebrating his life and the undeserving gift I have to be his mom.

Fallen off the edge of the earth?

Posted on August 23, 2014 by Tammy

Since I haven’t posted in weeks, I am sure you assume I have fallen off of the edge of the earth. Nope. Just traveled around it and we are now heading back again!

At the beginning of July we flew to the States with the main goal of getting Little Man a new prosthetic leg made. (Totally need to blog about that process, but we will save that for another time.) He now is proudly cruising on new toes! Mission accomplished, but that isn’t the whole story. The side benefits of needing to come stateside for medical reasons – well they were numerous, to numerous to list, but I might give you a few of the highlights.

Little Monkey got to see the Great Wall for the first time on our way out of the country. She had mentioned the grievance that the Chinese members of our family had not seen the Great Wall. A day hiking the wall was our remedy and it was all she had hoped for and then some.

2. Hang’n with the grandparents was a highlight for all of us. Being spoiled with favorite foods, riding four-wheelers, tagging along “helping” and chattering non-stop makes for some great summer memories!

3. The beach. Nothing else needs to be said. No photo needed since I was in a bathing suit! 😉

4. Connecting with friends. I can’t tell you how many times I was in tears this summer over the joy of friendship. You can’t beat good friends who support you, love you and pray over you. We are blessed. Here are two examples – great friends I was in Bible study with 10 years ago! The sweet fellowship continues.

5.Simpson Park Camp meeting was a time of peace and renewal for me. The few days we camped there were filled with such sweet times. Love that place. Every furlough should include some time soaking in the goodness of a campmeeting!

6. I met my new niece! The one weekend we were around and this sweet, obedient, little one arrived as if on cue! Okay, her mom might not say that, but her Aunt was thrilled by her delay! Thank you for coming into the world just in time for us to welcome you, precious!

7. Making it to the Hurley family reunion. It was so fun to see cousins that I hadn’t seen in years and years and then to watch as our children became friends. Priceless.

8. Worm guts, blue gill and gnats usually wouldn’t make any highlights list, but enjoying the great outdoors in the country – well I needed that! I am ready now to go back to our city life after soaking in some country.

Thinking I should make this a good top ten list, but then who can stop at ten? It has been a great summer, but we are now ready to return. Looking forward to a new season.

Mountain Man

Posted on June 17, 2014June 17, 2014 by Tammy

This past weekend Hubby had the delight of chaperoning a camping trip for Soccer Dude’s afternoon 6th grade class. Delight isn’t the first word that Dad used as he walked in the door smelling of campfire and needing a desperate cup of coffee after no sleep and miles of hiking….but after a hot shower and a cup of coffee! 😉

I have mentioned in the past that we live in a city of millions – but I am not sure if I have explained that we are also in the mountains. The city where we live is huge…..but if you travel just a short distance you realize that the mountains that surround us dwarf the city. My guys went and tackled some of those mountains.

I loved hearing that as soon as camp was set up Soccer Dude had a large stick and took off on his own to hike to the peak. Once he made it, he opened his pocket knife and used it to slow himself down as he jumped to the waiting cliff more than 16 feet below. (That is why Dad’s chaperone and not Moms!) Once at camp again, he rallied his friends and led them to the top as well.

Can you find our Mountain Man in this photo?

Here is a zoom in to prove he made it!

There are many, many more peaks to explore on future trips.

There is nothing like getting out of the city for a few days. We might be country people who are thriving in a large city, but every once in awhile you just need a bit of country. Thankful that we are surrounded by places that can scratch that itch. My guys came home with grand plans of picking up more camping gear and heading out as a family! The little 2 man tent that Hubs feet stuck out of all night (we are taller than most asians!) isn’t quite gonna cut it! Tents, sleeping bags, fishing poles and fire gear are in our future….now just for a car! Can’t believe I am even thinking about driving in this country; I love me some city buses! After seeing these photos and hearing the excitement in my boy’s voice….it might be worth it.