With God all things are possible

There have been some seasons of God’s blessing in our lives that have felt so overwhelming that it is like drinking water out of a firehose. I have never done it, but I am sure the force of the water as you try to gulp it down would be something. It might even knock you over. I feel knocked over and drenched by the volume of God’s blessing on our family.

We needed a wheelchair van. We knew that some time in the future it would be inevitable. I can’t lift a growing teenager forever – but we were still managing. Even though we were prepared for the reality some day, we were startled to have the surgeon tell us that B now could no longer ride in a regular vehicle. Even before they would release him home from the hospital after his surgery, we would need to make arrangements. The need was no longer in the future, but now and we weren’t prepared. We began looking for a new van – a bit overwhelming since we are experts at driving old vehicles and blessed to have been given our last needed vehicle.

We didn’t expect to be given a wheelchair van as well.

Some crazy generous people (we aren’t even sure who all contributed) gave us the funds needed to buy a wheelchair van. All the funds. Wheelchair vans are not cheap. We paid with cash that wasn’t ours. If that doesn’t knock you over and drench you in a little bit of holy awe I don’t know what will.

As I reflect on our years of ministry – one theme rises above all others. God has provided. Little Man reminded me that we have “had many miracles in our lifetime.” I loved listening to him list a few of them with his siblings joining in. There was the time a group of loving musicians gave us a heavy duty stroller that we needed for Little Man after one of his surgeries. We were given an 8 passenger vehicle when our family grew from 7 to 8. Just when we had the opportunity to spend time in Thailand, Hubby was hired to teach extra classes that covered the costs involved.

The kids also included provisions that were not monetary. The friends that have crossed our paths. Visas that were granted in the last hour as an entire camp meeting paused to pray for God’s favor in that matter. The child who lived with us for a season — he taught us that we did have the capacity to love and parent 5 and ultimately 6 children. Favor granted by government officials. Jobs. Adoptions. Housing. Travel. I giggled as my nine year old mentioned all the miracles in his lifetime, but was sobered as I realized how true his sweet and sincere statement had been. He ended the conversation by stating — “imagine all the miracles we would have on the list if we counted all of them from your lifetime!”

Thank you to everyone who gave so that we could buy the van we needed for Benjamin. Thanks be to God that he led us to step out in faith to adopt this awesome kid — and through the journey of parenting this crew, God continues to provide for all our needs. Living cross-culturally, adopting kids, having a large family…when people ask us how we do it I am tempted to say, “I don’t know.” But, what I mean….I’m not the one “doing” it. No way. God provides for us and has given us an awesome support network in all of you. People who are praying for us, believing in us, supporting us, giving to us. We need a village and God has placed us in one.

Could I add a small asterisk to this testimony? There are some seasons of God’s blessing on our lives that might not be described as water from a firehose. Can you picture a tap turned on when the water main is broken? Just a tiny trickle comes out as the pipe groans. Have you had a season in your life when you see the gushing blessing pouring out on others and you wonder if all dried up before it reached you and your need?

I have labored over this post, wording and rewording — wanting to give God glory for this amazing gift that He has given us. But I think the full glory He is due can only come by me honestly sharing. God answered our prayers for a van, but not all of our prayers are answered in an awesome way that automatically leads to a rejoicing party. Our prayers that B would gain strength by taking medication have not been answered in the way we had hoped. With a few tears I can say that God provides even in this. He is good even in this. I can trust him even with this.

When his blessings seems like a gushing firehose or when his blessings seems like a dry trickle — actually, we need to realize that His blessing is still there. I am learning that blessing can be defined by God’s presence and that doesn’t waiver based on my circumstances or how I feel. My heart learning to give God glory in the unexpected great and in the disappointing hard can be added to our list of miracles in my lifetime.

With God all things are possible.

Looking backwards

I hope you don’t mind indulging me as I back post. The last couple of months have been crazy with so many decisions, travel, and transitions that I sometimes forget what time zone we are in. That being said, it was hard to keep the blog updated. But, we have had a couple of significant moments in our family that I would love to share with you – albeit late.

Part of our transition from China included several weeks in Thailand for training, debriefing, rest and medical care. It was a much needed time that helped all of us. The reality of a season in the States began to sink in, we grieved leaving our Asian home, we rested and sought soul renewal after making so many large decisions and most importantly had some fun as a family.

A few of our highlights from our time in Thailand included fun, healing and faith.

As an early birthday gift Little Monkey and I spent a day, just the two of us, learning how to cook Thai food. When you have 6 kids, finding fun special things to do with them individually can be a challenge. I was so thankful to have the chance to make memories with my girl.

B learned to swim on his own!! We ditched his normal daily physical therapy for time in the pool everyday. I was amazed to see how the excerise in the water relieved his joint stiffness and increased his mobility, but the most fun part….once he was in the water, he was like all the other kids. He could move where he wanted to go and play the way he wanted to play. ON HIS OWN. Pretty huge deal for a kiddo who always needs to be pushed around in a wheelchair.

Above all, the day I will treasure most from our time in Thailand, was the afternoon Soccer Dude and Roo were baptized. After a season of studying the Old Testament in our homeschooling curriculum they were challenged to publicly declare their faith. (Homeschool win!) They chose to do that with the community of expats that meet up with us yearly in Thailand – their Asian family.

I was overwhelmed as Hubby read the age old litergy for our teenagers. I thought my heart would burst with joy as I thanked God for all that he has done for us in our salvation. What a treasure to share that gift with our children. Our friends gathered around them and prayed blessings over them and called them onward in their faith. It was so very special.

We have had the opportunity to visit Thailand many times during our ministry in Asia. I love, love the ocean. There is something about standing on the edge of the crashing mass of water that speaks to my soul. I am treasureing the memories from Thailand, holding on tight to them during this season of transition.

I ain’t gonna lie. This transition has been a hard one. We hated to leave our home in Asia. I hated to face the medical stuff that I knew was in our future. I hate finding my footing in a new place and season. It is hard work. One way I anchor myself through seasons like this (and we have faced them several times) is to dig deep in areas of faith, health and fun. I think it is so simple that I actually have fought it during past transitions.

So, this morning I am walking down memory lane. Remembering how space to encounter God in new ways, remembering faith decisions like baptism, exercise in a pool, and intentional fun with my kiddos ground me. What can that look like (practically) here and now in Michigan? I have been thinking about that a lot as I unpack suitcases and settle in. Our time in Thailand to unplug and seek God was such a gift that renewed my soul – I need that on a regular basis. There is something about extended time away with family and Jesus – you know? I need more than 30 minutes with my Bible in the mornings. But how? How can I get more when normal busy life is happening and chaos is the word that describes my life?

Thinking and praying a lot about silence, solitude, prayer, retreat, a healthy lifestyle, and good fun. I can let life take me along – or I can be intentional. I am learning that the simple choices make a big difference for our hearts. I wish I had a punch list of my goals toward soul health and how to achieve them. It just isn’t that simple for me.

I am taking it one thing at a time as God brings something to mind. Texted a college friend, who I love and admire deeply, to ask her to join me in a retreat weekend sometime in the near future. I have a couple of books picked out that I am planning on reading. I have carved out a “hiding place” in our new home where I can take time to pray. I am back into my exercise routine and we have re-established our Friday pizza, game and movie nights. Nothing super impressive. I am not going to set the world on fire as a result of these small moves – but I won’t get stuck. That is enough of a goal for now.

What choices do you make to keep your soul healthy?

We packed up our lives….again.

It really takes time for me to sit and count how many times I have packed up for a move over the past 20 years. God has taken us to Ohio, Peru, Michigan, China, Kentucky, Florida, back to Asia – and now we pack again.

Some of these moves were planned and hoped for. Some unexpected. Each of them have grown us in ways that amaze me as I look back on this journey God has taken us on as we seek to serve Him. That gives me faith as we step out again.

One of the things I have packed and unpacked, moving it across oceans and through all of these States – sage green towels. Towels that were given to Bryan and I as wedding gifts by Linda Mullins, a friend at Brice UMC. Funny what you remember. I actually laughed out loud as I looked in the hall closet of our apartment in Asia. I was trying to decide what would go in the suitcases that we would take with us to the States. Those towels have been trusted friends. I must admit they are a bit frayed on the edges now. They didn’t make the cut. It is time for new towels and time to embrace a new season.

B and Little Man both need some medical care that we were unable to get in our city in Asia, so we knew that God was steering us toward an extended time in the States to seek healing.

Bryan has accepted a position as a campus pastor in Michigan. The church is a little over an hour from my family and is a mile from a university. He is excited by this new opportunity and for the chance to love and lead folks in our new community. He also is excited to continue our connection in Asia through our sending organization. He has been asked to travel a couple times a year to help with leadership training and curriculum developement. Equipping the next generation of church leaders in regions of the world that don’t have the resources we do in the west is a constant passion. We are excited to see where both of these ministry opportunities will take us throught this next season.

For me – I kinda feel like that frayed towel. It has been a crazy few years (or maybe it is jetlag talking!) I am looking forward to some time to help our kids get healthy, homeschooling with some extra resources, launching our eldest to university (craziness!) and seeing where God leads from there. Keep posted. I am sure God has some fun things up his sleeve for all of us. We will have stories to share and we would love for you to continue to join us in the journey.

Intentional

A weekend away is just what the doctor ordered before the crazy hits. The countdown is on. We fly across the ocean in five days.

We have done this routine many times, but it still catches me off guard. Thinking through what a family will need until the next time we are in the States, packing, weighing, and repacking suitcases to exactly 50 lbs, checking lists, packing up the house we have been staying in the past five and a half months, saying goodbyes and squeezing in as much American food as possible before we leave – well, it is intense.

This time we intentionally started the work early and planned a weekend off before the final push towards being ready to go. Deep woods camping with no internet or cell coverage was such a great break. I needed the time to set aside my lists and focus on the kids. I can’t say that I was totally successful – it is a hard discipline for me to set aside a large job and be present. I tried.

Fishing and playing in a freezing cold river was the highlight of the weekend for some of the kids while others felt that the highlight was playing games and the campfire. Who doesn’t love gathering sticks and throwing them in the fire pit? We swam in a lake and watched the loons. We embraced life with a wheelchair and experimented with short hikes and enjoying nature as we drove trails.

I hate that while I was trying to focus on marshmallows on sticks my mind would wander to the suitcases waiting in our living room. For me, the struggle is real. I know I need rest. I know my family needs the break and the fun – but the story that rolls around in my head can have a desperate tune.

“If you don’t keep at it, then the job won’t get done. There isn’t time to rest. You are too busy for sabbath.” I am fighting hard against these lies. The truth is, I might not have everything wrapped up as cleanly because we went camping in the midst of our craziest week of the year. But play, rest and time to seek God in the midst of the storm is always worth it. That is the truth I am leaning into. I need to set things aside and seek God. I need a break from the demands of life. God created me for rest, fun and relationship.

My goal for the coming year – to be intentional about rest, fun and sabbath so that my relationship with Jesus will be fuller. The camping trip is just the beginning.

Next time I write will be from the other side of the world. I would appreciate your prayers as we prepare and travel, but more than that would, you pray for my soul as I lean into the discipline of sabbath? What have you found that helps you to seek Father in new ways? How do you practice sabbath in the midst of your crazy?

How Mo became a US citizen.

We have had a time of it.  What was an easy process for our other two kiddos, getting Mo’s US citizenship has been one hurdle after another.  We were being told that due to recent changes in the process it could take up to 6 months to get his certificate of citizenship.  No big deal unless you need a passport and visa for your child in order to return overseas to your job!  After multiple attempts, much frustration and even with the advice of immigration lawyers, we were beginning to think we would need to give up teaching this semester and stay in the States to get it all figured out.

On  a Monday we were told that there was no way to have an appointment any sooner than 102 days.  On Wednesday of that week, an officer gave us a call and asked us to come for an appointment in 6 days for the much desired certificate.  We were thrilled.  Felt blessed.  Wondered how there was such a change. Of course, we soon found that it was a total God thing.

I sat in the office on Friday presenting all of the documents required listening to the story of our officer who was originally from the Philippines.  He knew first hand about poverty even though he is now living the American dream.  He spent the first several years of his life on the streets until he was taken in to a boarding school run by Americans who loved him, educated him and gave him a chance in life.  The officer told me how Mo’s profile on his application had reminded him of himself 60 years earlier.  “I wanted to help you help this boy like that couple helped me.”

I could hardly keep myself from crying in this man’s office.  I wanted to weep for the relief of finally having the documents we need to return to our Asian home, but snotty sobs threatened to overtake me as I realized how big this story is.  Only God can change a life 60 years ago and still have it paying forward today.  Amazing really.

I makes me pause.  Anyone who knows me even a bit, knows that I am a rubber meets the road type of gal.  If it isn’t working.  Don’t bother.  If I can’t see results then it needs to be changed.  But honestly, sometimes the things we are called to aren’t measurable.  For me, faithful is putting a lot of effort into things that I don’t know what the outcome will be.  That couple who started a school for street kids…their work is helping our work.  I am sure they never thought to put that down as a goal.  They never got to write a newsletter about how their projects would have world wide ripples.  I wish I could call that couple up – let them know how their work continues today – how their lives are impacting many.

This officer didn’t just help us get the papers we need to return to Asia.  His story reminds me not to measure our work based on what I can see.

We have the citizenship paper that we needed.  We were able to rush to Atlanta to get a passport for our guy and mailed it in for his visa which will give us permission to re-enter China as a new American citizen.  The visa….that is another whole God story and we will see how that ends!

I can do all things

I usually end the year by making pizza for my students at the orphanage.  Some of the teens knew something was up when I came in this week with all the contents for a pizza party.  I explained that I needed to go to the States so my son could have a surgery.  Most of the kids simply accepted my need to go and asked if I would come back – everyone except one teen.

He is wheelchair bound and unable to use his hands well.  His speech is unclear, but his mind is sharp.  This amazing teen is caught in a body that just can’t respond.  He inspires me often.  He uses his mouth to hold a paintbrush, will encourage the other students to do their best during projects when he is unable to participate, and has used his spare time learning all of the colors (and many other art words) in English during my class.  Amazing.

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After he processed that I would be gone for several months, he asked if I had an app on my phone that would allow me to call some of the local teachers.  “Then you could keep in touch.” He claimed satisfied with his plan.  I shrugged and said that my Chinese is bad and I really can’t use those apps.

He looked me straight in the eye and said, “I speak bad.  There are many things I can’t do.  Teacher, YOU can do this. Don’t say that.”  He finished his verbal reprimand saying that he would help me!

There have been several times facing this upcoming season that I simply want to sit down, cry, and tell God that I can not do this.  I can’t say the goodbyes.  I can’t travel with three kids.  I can’t face my baby’s surgery without Hubby.  I can’t be separated from half my family for this long.  Oh, my list (and self pity) could go on.

I have decided that all I need to know I have learned from disabled children and Sunday school.

Really. Who am I to say that I can’t do these things?  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  We are going to do this – one step at a time, remembering that it could be harder and that Christ will strengthen us as we go.

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Not unlike my sweet student who was so willing to help his technology challenged teacher – so many of you have offered to help us through this season.  Thank you.  Every encouraging note, prayer, and gift have been deeply appreciated.  They help me to know that Father is providing for us….holding my hand every step of the way.

I have help for every leg of the journey.  A friend is driving hundreds of miles to pick us up from the airport and loan us their car.  Family is taking time off work to sit with us at the hospital.  A local church near Shriners has offered to be my community and help.  We have a furnished apartment to live in as Little Man recovers.

That is a pretty amazing list.

With each of those things in mind, I am going to say goodbyes with confidence.  I will trust that Moe will be filled with peace as we travel.  I won’t worry in the waiting room and I believe our family will thrive during this season of separation.

Through Christ.

By His own hand He leadeth me.

The decisions we have been making over the past weeks haven’t been easy.  Ironically, the hymn our family has been working at memorizing together is “He Leadeth Me” by Dr. Joseph H. Gilmore.  As we move forward one step at a time, we feel blessed to serve a good Father, who even had our homeschool curriculum present us with a hymn that reminds us that His hand is leading us even when life feels out of control.

He leadeth me. O bless-ed thought! O Words with heavenly comfort fraught!

I need that reminder as I pack up the youngest three members of our family preparing for a journey to the States that will not include their dad or siblings.  For sure, a two month separation would never be what we would choose (especially right after an adoption) but as we have pr@yed and talked to Little Man’s doctors we feel confident that this is what we need to do.

Little Man, Little Monkey, Moe and I will leave for the States May 8th.  We will land in Tampa, Florida where Little Man will have a bone reduction surgery on May 11th.  He then will have follow-up appointments over the next month.  6-8 weeks post-op they should be able to start making our guy a new leg.  He is looking forward to that.  He hasn’t been able to walk for three weeks and he already is tired of us pushing him around in the stroller.  He asked me to pack his old leg so that he would have it when he came out of surgery.  It wasn’t fun to explain to him that surgery wasn’t the only step towards getting him walking again.  The awesome thing about our Little Man – He has a joyful spirit and doesn’t let much get him down.  He has been telling everyone that he is excited to have surgery because the hospital has a great playground and the food in the cafeteria is wonderful!  That’s our boy.

Hubby and the oldest two kids will join us in the States as soon as the semester is complete – sometime the end of June.  We haven’t even left yet and I am already counting down the days. We then will all return to our Asian home the end of August.

Surgery isn’t the only thing that will keep us busy while Stateside.  We will be working at getting Mo’s immigration paperwork filed, will apply for his new American passport and be getting him a visa to return with our family to Asia.

We would truly appreciate you lifting up our family through this season.  So many transitions, goodbyes, and emotions will fill the weeks ahead.  Please specifically lift up:

  1. Me as I travel with an immobile kiddo and a two year old who has never done this world wide travel thing.  So thankful for Little Monkey who is one of my biggest helpers!  I know she will make the task much easier and more fun as she chats with me along the way.
  2. our new little guy…may Moe handle all of the transitions and continue to feel safe and loved in our family.
  3. for Little Man’s surgery and healing process.
  4. think of Hubby as he continues to teach his classes, finish homeschooling Soccer Dude and Roo, and keeps our home running while I am away.
  5. and last but not least, for our family dynamics and relationships.  Two months is a long time.

I know we travel a lot and our lives seem a bit on the crazy side….but really we are a family who enjoys pizza and movie/game night every Friday, shopping at the same veggie stand, and sipping hot chocolate and reading a good book equals an exciting night. Can I say routine?  The next four months are going to shake us up a bit – pr@y for us.