Tammy

Not an Issue

Posted on June 17, 2015 by Tammy

Having a child with a limb difference is a total non-issue, except when there is an issue. I mean, I often forget that Little Man only has one leg. In the morning he puts on an extra sock, a limb sleeve and a plastic leg. I don’t think about it again until bed time when we take it all off. We would never call him disabled and most of our neighbors, until recently, had no idea that he was any different than the other children who play around campus.

… and then a sore appears.

The last few weeks we have struggled with what seem to be minor sores on Little Man’s residual limb. Even a tiny sore can keep him from being able to wear his prosthetic and an infection in a sore becomes a concern. This really is the first time we have dealt with any of this, which doesn’t help. We are new at this, trying to figure out the best way to care for our boy with our doctors living on the other side of the globe.

We are thankful for the American doctors who live in our city who have helped us keep the infection at bay. We are also very thankful that we had planned a trip to the States to see his medical team.

We are not sure what those doctor appointments will lead to. Right now the sore is not getting worse, but not healing which might be the result of many different things – his need for surgery or that his prosthetic hasn’t been fitting well.

So our summer plans are shaping up a bit differently than we had planned, but it is a small road bump. We know it will all go back to a non-issue soon. Until then, we would appreciate your pr@yers for extra grace, wisdom to make decisions about his care, and a speedy recovery.

For now we are struggling with an active pre-schooler who is suddenly immobile, which creates for some interesting moments and some challenging decisions.

We have begun the quest to find a stroller for a heavy, growing, pre-schooler with on leg. A new stroller is a must on our shopping list for the States because our cheap umbrella stroller just isn’t cutting it any longer. Who knew there were so many types of strollers! And, I am pretty sure they cost more than my first car! Okay, maybe not that much, but it sure feels like it! Wisdom. I truly need stroller wisdom! We are pr@ying the wheel of our stroller stays on for the next three weeks till we get to the States to buy a new one, and in the mean time Little Man is enjoying many piggyback rides. He calls himself “Agent W” because he “flies” around on our backs! Can you believe that Little Monkey can carry him?

We also need wisdom and grace as we interact with our neighbors and friends. Out on our family walk after dinner we had a woman stop us and with utter shock tell us that our son had lost his leg! We laughed so hard! We just couldn’t help it. We have had many folks ask us what happened to his leg, but never had anyone tell us it was missing! 🙂 We know it is gone and we love him the way he is. We would appreciate your thoughts as we strive to communicate that to those around us.

We will keep you posted on how his leg is healing, our next steps for his care and the funny stories that come up as we go along! Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts!

Another Year

Posted on June 11, 2015June 11, 2015 by Tammy

A lego set being put together, a blanket tent in the living room, audio books and an afternoon baseball game all mean the same thing….homeschool is done for another year and my kids are enjoying their free time today. We haven’t just survived 7th, 5th, 2nd and pre-school…could I say that we have thrived this year without sounding prideful? I am proud of what I have learned as a homeschool parent and am thrilled to see how the kids are advancing.

It has become a yearly tradition to post the milestones of each child at the end of our school year. Here goes for 2015!

Little Man our 4 year old pre-school graduate

biggest accomplishment: knows all the letter sounds, knows all the books of the Bible and stopped sucking his thumb!

favorite food: noodles

What he wants to be when he grows up: a race car driver

I am kinda against homeschooling pre-school….but, he wanted workbooks to use when the other kids were doing school work. I gave in and bought him workbooks. It is crazy how much he has learned just by “sitting in” and listening to the big kids. I really think we could not school him at all. The last one is the easiest….I guess! 🙂

Little Monkey or 2nd grade graduate

biggest accomplishment: reading everything she can get her hands on! We also are proud of her for pushing through her shyness to take an art and dance class.

favorite book: Pippy Longstocking

favorite food: a Chinese dish made from sliced potatoes and rice of course.

What she wants to be when she grows up: a baker or a teacher

Proud of this girl who is learning to be more independent. Her favorite thing is still to be close to mom. She is our rule following, stable, steady one. She is stepping outside of the box and creating things with legos without a manual and she loves to go on adventures through reading in books.

Roo our 5th grade graduate

biggest accomplishment: she fell in love with science through astronomy this year. She also continues to improve her artistic abilities adding music via piano to the mix.

favorite book: The Bronze Bow

favorite food: dumplings (the Chinese kind not the southern kind)

what she wants to be when she grows up: a beautician or an artist

It is crazy how artistic this girl is. She is always thinking outside of the box and pushing to do it like no one else. She and little monkey truly are best friends and they compliment each other so well. She loves listening to audio books as she is painting. We finally found a spelling curriculum that has helped her (and her mom) – Spell U See. Love it.

Soccer Dude our 7th grade graduate

biggest accomplishment: He has always hated writing, but this year decided for every writing assignment he would write a poem….because they are shorter! HA! Turns out he really can write some amazing poetry.

favorite pass time: training and playing with his lovebirds

Soccer Dude is our history buff and he loves reading anything he can get his hands on. It seems so crazy that we are starting to plan for High School. But then again, I knew this was coming….it is taking me longer and longer to prep his lessons. There are a lot of cob-webs I have needed to dust out to remember what I learned in 7th grade! We are planning on him doing North Star next year. We are hoping this online school might be a good fit for him and will be what he does for High School.

I close with sharing one of his poems with you.

I Made a Big Decision – by Soccer Dude

I made a big decision a little while ago.
I don’t remember what it was, which probably goes to show
That many times a simple choice can prove to be inconsequential
Even though it might seem essential.

I must have been distracted when I left home because
Left or right – I’m sure I went (I wonder which it was!)
Anyway, I never veered; I walked in that direction
Utterly absorbed, it seems, in quiet introspection.

For no reason I can think of, I’ve wandered astray
And that is how I got here today.

Unexpected guest

Posted on June 2, 2015June 4, 2015 by Tammy

We had talked about it. Prayed about it. Wondered when the right time would come…and then it just happened. We began our journey as foster parents. The foster care director at the orphanage called with a need for short-term care for 1.5 year old little girl, who we happen to know and adore. Her foster parents needed to travel for work before her adoptive family could complete her adoption.

But there is more to the story.

Let me go back to my first day in the orphanage after a three year break. I was given the full tour that day. So much had changed including how open and accepting the nannies and teachers were of my presence. Part of that tour included the baby room. I had never stepped foot in that room. I was trying hard to keep my wits about me as I was handed a new baby brought in that very week.

“You have experience with your son with one leg. You have four children. This new baby has no ears and isn’t eating well. What do you think?”

What did I think? I was in awe over the tiny perfect little girl who was new to the orphanage. We shared something – both the newbies. I have prayed for her ever since, expecting great things for her.

She is our first foster daughter.

Full circle.

We share something.

This time I am the lone newbie. To her I am just another stop along the wait for her forever family. Poor baby. She is my guinea pig. I really am not sure how to do this foster care thing. Loving this little girl is nothing like I have done before. I am caring for her as if she is my own, knowing that she is a guest. It is the ultimate act of hospitality and through her I am seeing a new side of love. It is hard, but it is good.

Little Man wasn’t so sure about inviting another little into our mix, but he now is asking, “Do we really have to give her to someone else to be adopted? We are a forever family!”

She is teaching us that you can love someone like family for as long as G.d places them in our lives. She is reminding me that I love babies and showing us that five kids isn’t too many! She, for sure, is keeping me on my toes as she darts around our house and tries to climb our bookshelves, smirking all the while. She is breaking my heart as she grieves the changes. She melts my heart as she pats my arm while I give her night time bottle, and she makes me feel old as I walk the floor with her in the night.

But more than anything…she is reminding our family that we love not to get something in return, but because He first loved us.

Learning to love again…like a newbie.

GREAT News! Hoping for more…

Posted on May 1, 2015May 2, 2015 by Tammy

I have AMAZING news! Manning, a 13 year old I shared with you last month, has a family! He has been chosen. A family is working to come for him. He is loved and will be called son! Doesn’t that just give you goose-bumps?! I am over the moon excited for him and hopeful.

I had just been crying about these boys to my ever understanding hubby. “Why is no one looking at their files? Why aren’t there enough families willing to adopt older boys? Where are the miracles?” As we pr@yed together that night, I had no idea that another family was starting paperwork for one of the boys I was crying for. When I found out the next day my heart soared. JC is hearing our pr@yers. He is pursuing the hearts of families on behalf of these children!

Here are two more boys who are near and dear to my heart. They are hoping and waiting for a family of their own. Would you join me in pr@ying for them?

The first, Ewing, was one of my students before he started going to local school. He is so fun-loving! Oh, the jokes he told me! He wasn’t a huge fan of getting paint on his hands but he loved making me laugh!

Here is what the CHI website has to say about this amazing 7 year old who wants to be adopted:

Ewing is a boy who needs a family to look inside his eyes and see the beauty of his soul! What a treasure this boy is at 7 years old! During a recent visit of our CHI team to his orphanage, he ran up and greeted the team with a hearty good morning He was so excited to see us! Later in the day, we watched a special activity led by an NGO that works with the orphanage while he painted Easter Eggs, he was so proud of them, and smiled broadly at each compliment he received. He is so open and eager to connect with people, clearly an extrovert. The NGO’s social worker told our team, “this boy is so bright, he has no issues with his mental capacity, but many think he must be delayed because of his physical appearance. Nothing holds him back; he tries everything with a happy heart!”

He goes to school in a local kindergarten. He lives in a foster home on the grounds of the orphanage with three other children. His foster mother said that Ewing is very outgoing, but he changes his friends often because kids sometimes make fun of him because they think he looks different. But, that doesn’t stop him making new friends! He keeps on trying. He loves to tell jokes, laughs easily and would bring adventure…if not a bit of mischief to a family! He is friendly and once mom asks him for help, he will hop up and do it immediately. He can take care of himself all his hygiene and dressing needs. He engages in simple conversation with people. The foster mother said she always takes great care to ensure he doesn’t fall down.

Ewing was sponsored for surgery in Singapore when he was younger and there is a great deal of information about his surgery and recovery for families to review.

Our CHI Team leader who visits his orphanage regularly said this, “This boy is SO adoptable! He is ready for a family to embrace his immeasurable value as a human being! He fills my heart with hope when I encounter him, he is so ready to dive into a family who will love him and give him the confidence that only belonging can, so he can truly open up and experience the world. Where is his family?”

Ewing, really has no hope of a normal future if not adopted. Please pr@y for the miracle of family for him!

I really knew nothing about cerebral palsy before I started volunteering at the orphanage. I am positive that if I saw a child with this diagnosis on a file, I never would have looked twice or considered adopting him. Cerebral palsy was scary in my book. Now….well, my life has been changed by these kids. I have watched them with determined looks on their faces overcome physical barriers. I have had them show me compassion, love, and tenderness that truly is an example of the heart of JC – like nothing else. They really are precious children who bless my socks off and I can promise you that your home would be blessed by adding a child like Fielding into your family.

Here is what the CHI website says about this precious boy who hopes to be adopted:

Fielding is as gentle and loving as a child can be. He was met in March 2015 by members of the Children’s House International China team where he touched them all. This was their report.

“Fielding, was a surprise to our CHI team when we met he and his foster mother at the orphanage. A first, he was a bit shy, and held back a bit when we spoke with him. But we were all delighted to see his handsome eyes and beautiful smile more and more as our time wore on. Fielding has been fostered by the same family since the age of 1. With many independent living skills he learns more slowly, but he continues to achieve the goals when given the time to practice. His foster mother emphasized that when she is calm and peaceful in her instruction of him, that he is very willing to learn. She encourages him often and uses patience in his instruction. He likes to go for a walk after breakfast and he will remind the mother to take the keys and her cell phone before they leave the house. He also is quick to remind his foster father to give some oxygen to the fish in the family’s aquarium. After a refreshing walk, they go home for lunch. He will play quietly with his favorite cars when his foster mother is cooking, and if he wants to use bathroom, he walk to his mom and ask for help. When lunch is ready, he can use his spoon to feed himself without help.

Fielding’s foster mother shared, “He is a very special boy, he focuses on detail and is very good at observation. He is polite, generous, and sensitive and can easily steal people’s hearts by looking at their face with his lovely eyes. He likes to touch your hair gently, hug you or share good things with you to show his love. He is a thoughtful and obedient child. Once, I was sick and I was vomiting, and he patted me on my back gently and then sat beside my bed to help me feel better and to express his love.” It is evident that he has been loved and cared for, and that he has shared many precious things with his foster parents, who hope that he will have a loving, forever family of his own!”

Please pr@y for Ewing and Fielding and the other waiting children to find forever families. They can be adopted through Children’s House International. You can contact them directly through their website or email me and I will put you in touch with their social worker.

Believing in a miracle for each of these boys!

Introducing….

Posted on March 31, 2015March 31, 2015 by Tammy

As I was handing out high-fives and saying goodbye to my Thursday art class, one of my favorite students, a 13 year old boy, handed me a note. It was a torn corner from a piece of notebook paper. “Does your son read Chinese? Please give this to him.” So sweet, right?! When I delivered it to Soccer Dude at the dinner table, I had no idea what the words on that paper would do to my heart.

“May I come to your house to play and visit your family?” was the request scrawled across that torn paper. As Hubby read the words out loud to our family, I began to ~~cry~~ sob. My kids looked at me in dismay as I was loosing it over a playdate request. But, it seemed like so much more.

By law in this country when you turn 14 you are no longer able to be adopted. I thought of this sweet 13 year old boy who wants to “visit” our family and it hit me so hard that visiting is all he would ever do. To him a family is something you visit, not something you have. That my friends is something to weep over. Something we need to fight against.

For the boy who handed me the note, it is to late. But for many others there is still time. Please pray with me for miracles. The miracle of a family for Manning and for the two waiting boys I will share with you today. “Jenning” an amazingly smart 10 year old boy who has overcome so many obstacles and 4 year old “Kipling” who seeps joy from his pores!

These children are able to be adopted through Children’s House International and the following information comes from CHI’s Waiting Children website.

Jenning’s current obstacle is finding a family before it is to late and I tell you what, he will be amazing in a family. There truly is something special about this boy! He is a kind, polite, strong and eager boy who has stayed with his foster family for 10 years now. He is doing very well in school. His special need is post-operative CHI, hyperdactyly of hands and feet. After four surgeries on his legs he can walk normally now, but his protective foster mother says that he should not walk too long! She said that his legs grow tired and can be painful. However, Children’s House International’s own caseworker, lives in Jenning’s city, has seen him a few times and notes that he seems to be able to climb, walk, run, and carry on normally without complaint. He is healthy and seldom catches any illness; even colds are rare with this hearty boy! He likes to eat noodles, and he especially likes spicy food, but is very unique in that he doesn’t really like rice. His favorite fruits are watermelon, pineapple.

When the CHI team observed him playing with the other kids at the orphanage, he was very outgoing and willing to help the younger ones. He was eager to get people’s attention and showed a bit of a sensitive side. His foster mother said he feels a little nervous when he visits the orphanage because he doesn’t like where he comes from and doesn’t want others to know, especially those at school. He wants to be just like the other kids, and he feels pained that he is not. After the surgeries that at long last enabled him to walk, his confidence level grew greatly. But he hasn’t forgotten the days when he could not walk. When he comes to activities at the orphanage, he has been seen taking special care of the younger children in wheelchairs, pushing them into the sunshine and trying to make them smile. I can just imagine how much joy and compassion will be added to a family when Jenning becomes a son! His birthday is in April. What a birthday gift to have a family committed to him when he turns 11!

Kipling, is described by the Children’s House International social worker as “JOY in a 4 year old body!” Kipling has been fostered since he was 4 months old. Kipling was born in May 2011 with a recessive cleft lip, brain scan difference and undescended testicle. His file doesn’t mention it, but he also seems to have low vision. Although these minor needs put together might seem daunting, don’t let them put you off. He is a laughing, smiling, singing, dancing bundle of lovable boy! He has lots of energy and seems to very much enjoy being in the spotlight. This is part of the exuberant exchange between the CHI team and Kipling. He came in to the room, greeted us warmly with a smile and a giggle, then set to work playing with blocks. When the team spoke with him to ask him questions, he would tread excitedly in one place, his little feet coming up and down in such joy that it was apparent he could hardly contain it! He was happy playing and liked to throw things on the floor to make noise, and he loves music. One of the orphanage staff played a very popular Chinese pop song, “You are my little apple” and Kipling was thrilled. He danced and sang the words of the song, missing very few. When cued by his foster mom he would shake his backside, and put his hands up in the air waiving them around in glee. He has two little cute dimples. When he was done performing he giggled and said, “Okay?” Our laughter only encouraged more dancing, singing and laughter. The CHI team was smitten!

If you would like more information about adopting these boys or other children who wait, contact me and I will gladly put you in touch with the right person at CHI to answer any questions you might have.

Waiting Treasures

Posted on March 28, 2015April 21, 2015 by Tammy

It has almost been two years since I returned to teaching art at the orphanage, and seven years since I began this journey. If there is one thing that I believe more today than I did my first day walking down the hall of the orphanage, it would be this: if everyone could look into the eyes of these kids, spend an hour coloring with them and hear their stories – there would be a line a mile long of folks begging to be the special, chosen, adoptive parents of these amazing kids.

Instead it is the other way around. We are begging people to take a look at a photo, a file, and to take a leap of faith to add one of these treasure to their families. Unfortunately, they are unfound treasures. Waiting.

Today I have hope.

I am so excited this paradigm could shift.

There is an American adoption agency, Children’s House International, who have started a relationship with the orphanage where I teach. They have a social worker who lives here, is updating adoption files for our kids and they are advocating for the future of my sweet little friends. How awesome is that?!!

They have seen the kids and seen what I have seen….their special potential.

This also means there is a way for me to advocate and I now can share the kids with you. Would you join me….advocate and give voice to those who are waiting and hoping. Look at their photos, take in their stories, consider adoption, give generously and mostly pray for miracles.

We need miracles – because the kids in my classes are not cute healthy infant girls who seem easy to adopt. They are older boys who need the second chance adoption would bring.

Let me share the story of one dear with you today that comes from the CHI website:

UPDATE: Manning has a family!

At 6 years old “Manning’s” grandfather and father died. His mother ran leaving him to wander the streets until the police brought him to the orphanage. At 13 he still has never been chosen to be adopted because frankly families don’t want to risk taking in an older boy. He asks why families come for the young kids and not him. “I have waited longer. Why don’t they come for me?”

He is living in a group foster home on the grounds of the orphanage with three other younger children. His foster mother told us that he is the first one to get on his feet and help her when she asks for help. Because he is the oldest one in the family, he really works hard so as to take good care of the younger brothers and sister. The younger kids all love to hang out with him because he is so fun and so kind. He is a little introverted, gentle, and a bit shy. He loves art and riding his scooter around the orphanage grounds. Both socially and physically, he is a typical boy of his age. He is doing very well in school in all his subjects and recently received 4 medals in P.E; he can run fast! He likes Chinese class and art class the most. He is full of imagination and draws very well. He doesn’t like math. He doesn’t like “leftovers day” in his home, and always prefers noodles.

Upon entering the care of the Children’s Home he was found to have epilepsy, so he was given medication and now after 7 years, his medication is reduced to a half tablet each day and he has not had a seizure in over four years. He is small in stature, but mighty when it comes to responsibility, integrity, and personality.

The family who finds the treasure in this boy and adds him to their family will be blessed beyond measure.

If you’d like to learn more about Manning and the other children like him who wait, please contact me. I’ll be glad to put you in touch with the folks at CHI.

Encounter with a birthmother

Posted on March 22, 2015March 23, 2015 by Tammy

A simple encounter at the bus stop that rocked my soul.

I was waiting with three of our kiddos. Par for the course, they were playing and oblivious to all that was going around them. Picture a lot of laughter, noise and a bit of running around my legs. I was enjoying watching them play when I grew self-conscious that we were being watched.

Nothing new about that.

When out and about we are constantly watched. We hear comments like, “Four kids? Really?” and “Are they all yours?” and “They don’t all look like you. Two look like you and two look Chinese.” Usually I take it in a stride. I understand that for a population where one child is not just the norm but the policy, we are bound to draw out comments and stares.

But I had never heard this one.

A middle-aged couple was standing off to my left and I heard the woman comment to the man, “She could be our child.”

A wave of shock rolled over me and before I could think twice, I was starring into the woman’s eyes. I am positive she assumed I couldn’t speak Mandarin and wouldn’t understand the comment she made. To be honest, I wish I hadn’t understood her, looked up or reacted. When our eyes met – both mothers who understand grief and pain that should not exist in the world – the understanding in our eyes was full and real. She stepped around behind the bus stop and hid herself from me. I asked the children to stop playing so as not to make her pain more intense.

There is no possible way this woman was connected to our Little Monkey. Her birth place is hundreds of miles away. We were simply a symbol to this woman. Grief over what could have been? Wonder over what is? Hope that her child is in a family playing with siblings? A memory that had been hidden and now was pulled forward?

The encounter brought forward some emotions that I can forget in the daily routine and joy of life. My joy is someone else’s loss. Just because there are so many unanswered questions surrounding the early years of our adopted children doesn’t make them not exist. There are real people living lives with the memories of children who belonged in their arms.

Weekly, I see the reality of lonely hurting children who live their lives in an institution, and I want to question the people who chose not to care for them. Daily I am blessed by the love of two children who did not grow in my womb and sometimes I lose sight of the painful reality that the people who could not care for the ones I love now may still be out there wondering about them — wondering what their lives are like.

But it goes even deeper.

In relation to the majority of the world, I am a rich privileged woman. I have access to resources, health care, community support, and I have a voice. It stinks that the majority of women…mothers…in the world don’t have all of that…which at times result in some painful realities. It is injustice. When my children are playing around my legs and filling my life with laughter, I want to rage against a world where poverty is real and an injustice.

The woman at the bus stop – she brought my privilege up close and personal.

Those of us who are rich and privileged (dare I say that would be everyone reading this blog) we can do one of two things. Do something with our resources and ease the suffering of the orphans of the world and speak out against the injustice that creates orphans to begin with….or we can pretend.

Pretend.

I have looked into the eyes of orphans living in an institution. I have looked into the eyes of a suffering mother who can not parent her child.

I no longer can pretend.

Growing up – With photos

Posted on March 3, 2015March 3, 2015 by Tammy

You ever try to write a blog post, edit photos, answer homeschool questions with a four year old rolling around under your feet? I shouldn’t. I did which resulted in me hitting “post” rather than “save as draft.” Here is the full post with photos from Little Monkey’s special day.

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During our travels in February we celebrated the birthday of our sweet Asian beauty. I truly love watching as she grows and matures, but I must admit that each milestone also brings my heart a twinge of pain. Eight. Sigh.

To further confirm my theory that this child is growing up fast….she has a bucket list of things she wants to do/see in her lifetime. What 8 year old does that?! One of the things on that list was to see the Terracotta Warriors. We just happened to be traveling through the city where they are located around her birthday. It was such a fun way to celebrate our girl! We spent the day learning more about the buried army, Chinese culture and taking many photos to remember the day. Not sure which we like better…the Great Wall or the Terracotta Warriors. Each soldier made around 221 BC has a uniquely carved face. Cool. But the Great Wall is the biggest man-made structure in the world and also constructed way before power tools. Unimaginable. We love the history and rich culture of this country!

Don’t let Soccer Dude’s “been here done this” look fool you. He acts to cool for school when I ask him for a photo, but when it comes to reading about this stuff and watching the work of the archeologists….He might have enjoyed our day more than the birthday girl.

Now the other two kids…they might not be our history buffs, but they can make anything an adventure. Here are my two crazies making the day just that much more fun.

We wrapped up the day with a trip to McDonalds for burgers. We can’t get burgers in our city so it was a treat. Little Monkey was a bit put out that I couldn’t make her a cake in our hotel room, so a surprise fruit topped cake compliments of our hotel was a fantastic way to end our day.

I could tell you so many more stories…like how we decided to save money and take the public bus out to the Warriors. We were the only crazy expats on the bus and the driver decided he didn’t want to finish the route and just dumped us out in the middle of no where. We ended up on a mini bus with a bunch of grannies who had never seen white people on their local buses and where sure I didn’t know how to parent since my children weren’t wearing enough clothes. You should have seen the look on their faces when I clued them in that I understood what they were saying and respectfully told them in mandarine that the kids weren’t cold and that many American families have four children. I love shocked expressions….followed by conversations with locals! Wink!

All in a day in the life of a crazy family who live cross-culturally.

Out With the Old and In With the New

Posted on March 2, 2015 by Tammy

The smell of rancid meat is a great welcome home. Oh. Yes. We. Did. Our careful selves unplugged the power bar under the desk to keep our $20 printer safe from a power surge in our absence. Well played except that we forgot that our extra fridge also uses that plug. If you can skip the weird factor that our extra fridge is in our bedroom next to our desk/office space that is also in our master bedroom, you can go straight to the fact that this extra fridge was left to us by previous teachers. This used fridge was a welcome gift since tracking down ground meat in this city can be a treasure hunt and when I find it, I stock pile.

We were gone for three weeks. It was a fantastic time filled with great training, renewal, and rest. Nothing like pulling out for a few weeks to give you a fresh perspective. I am sure you will hear more about our trip in the next couple of posts. We came home armed with new resources and a vision to embrace our new semester with boldness and innovation.

Kinda funny how you can be so ready for something new and be hit with the smell of the old as soon as you walk in the door. Actually, we could smell it in the hall of our apartment. So sorry neighbors!

A freezer filled with meat that had thawed and sat in my bedroom for three weeks…Wow! Actually it was the two bags of chocolate chips and the 3 lb bag of coffee that I was saving in that same freezer that brought me to tears…and I never cry. (Okay, that is a lie. I cry a lot, but these tears I am blaming on our late evening arrival and my crazy love of both chocolate and coffee. Oh, Ld deliver me!)

My sweet husband rolled up his sleeves and began to scrub.

It has been two days and you can not believe the smell that lingers. We have tried everything, but due to the “excellent” design of the freezer that has a seam at its back that leads to a 2 inch compartment….well, let’s just say we push on the bottom of the freezer and we see red foam. Crazy.

Today, I gave in. I think we might just need perform surgery on the freezer and saw out the bottom or throw it out.

Not that I am over thinking this rancid meat as I come home thing….but, it really feels so ironic. Sometimes all you can do is throw in the sponge.

Hubby starts his classes today. He again has been assigned the literature classes with the added bonus of being asked to teach more freshmen on a second campus. My classes start tomorrow. No new students for me….the same sweet kids will be eagerly greeting me as I enter the orphanage halls. So, what is my new? Oh, that I could put into words what is taking place in my heart. I guess all I can say is that I have new depths in my heart. I am being broken so that I can love even more deeply.

I also might be shopping for a new freezer.

Traditions & Changes

Posted on January 25, 2015January 25, 2015 by Tammy

We have entered a new season of parenting. It has slowly snuck up on us in small ways. At one time we enjoyed a silent apartment once all four kids when in bed by 7:30, I understood all of the Math in his school lesson and I was fussing over booster seats. The changes aren’t all bad. Now, I have a night owl who rattles off random facts from NPR and is a responsible babysitter. It’s just taking some getting used to and I am thinking through this next phase with our young man.

It is time to give him some more freedom – but the idea of that totally freaks me out. It is time to let him test out what we have been trying to plant in his heart – but I lay awake wondering if he has learned the lessons we have tried so hard to pass on. It is time to let him stay up passed 8, but ya’ll seriously, how do you get a private moment once you have a teen in the house?! sigh!

We don’t have all the answers. Tak’n it one day at a time, but what we have figured out….he might not need us hovering over him at bedtime, but when he does seek us out we need to drop everything to listen.

This prompted us to start a new family tradition. One on one time with his dad seemed like the best gift we could give soccer dude as he enters his teens. So they packed backpacks and went to a nature preserve in the south to celebrate Soccer Dude’s birthday.

They saw lots of pandas, ate hamburgers and just hung out.

I dreamt of them having deep conversations about what it means to be a man (I tend to be an idealist). That didn’t happen. But the shared jokes, memories and the idea that “I am worth dad taking time off to hang out with me” hopefully will have a lasting impact. (The girls are already planning the 13th birthday trip!)

It was a good reminder that we need to be spending one on one time with each of the four kids. Just being honest, we have great intentions, but with the business of life, homeschooling and work….it is one of the first things that slips.

5 more years, people.

That is what we have before this guy will be off to college. The first 13 years have gone so fast. I want to make the most of these years enjoying the fruit of what we have been working towards.

Soccer Dude made dinner the other night. He was frying eggs and pancakes for us. I walked past the kitchen door and he called out for me to watch him flip an egg in the air. As I watched him and laughed, I was taken back to the cafeteria at Asbury College.

There was a cute red head who was pretty proud of his skills. He could make a perfect omelet at the egg bar. (Yes, that is a thing.) Half way through he would flip that omelet in the air. I fell in love with that boy.

If Soccer Dude turns out like his dad…..I will be one thankful momma.

I am tempted to worry. How will he turn out? Are we teaching him the right things? Are we giving him what we can and pointing him to the One who can meet all of his needs? Will he get off track during these confusing teen years?

My goal is to turn my worries over and simply enjoy the next five years before he catches the eye of some sweet girl in a college cafeteria.