Tammy

She squats

Posted on November 20, 2016November 20, 2016 by Tammy

Once upon a time, a crazy American art teacher was super thirsty and downed a whole bottle of water before class began. Half way through the class she had the desperate need to use the bathroom. Usually she does not leave her dear art students in the middle of a messy paint project, but nature called.

At the orphanage the bathrooms are not private. There are four squatty stalls with no doors. On the first floor you can find an adult bathroom with more privacy, but the art teacher was on the 4th floor. She wanted to be quick. Other teachers have done it before. So, she took her cue from those local teachers and slipped into the public bathroom, locking the outer door.

She heard the lock click. All was good, until she heard a different class in the hallway.

She tried to hurry not wanting the kiddos to wait. That should have been the least of her worries as the door began to rattle – then open.

“Someone is in here!”

The joy of teaching this group of special kids comes due to their innocence and curiosity. That was not in Art Teacher’s favor when trying to keep the kids out of the bathroom. Before she knew it, there was a mixed audience of 8 children as she struggled to finish with dignity.

They stood there and watched like good, curious, Chinese children. One of the more observant fellows mentioned to the others, “Foreigners pee too!” To which his friend replied, “Did you know Teacher could squat?” Thankfully none of the other teachers came in to witness the grand event of foreign teacher squatting.

Just a day in the life of an art teacher at an orphanage. The children learned how to paint leaves on fall trees, and they learned that even their foreign teacher squats.

The end.

Help the Williams Family Adopt #5

Posted on November 14, 2016November 14, 2016 by Tammy

Looking back at some old family photos….when there were only four of us and before adoption rocked our world. Wow, what we would have missed if we had kept our world small!

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Asking for help is humbling. So you can imagine what a blessing it has been to have folks contacting us wondering how they can help us as we adopt #5. How do we have such a great community?! We are totally blessed. Many people don’t feel called to adopt, but are able to give and pray for a family who does. Thank you – from the bottom of our hearts. We could not do it without you.

We are about half-way through the adoption process and are hoping to be matched to our new son or daughter soon. Even though we live in Asia, we have to go through the adoption process like any other American couple. You would think there would be some perks of already being here, but nope. I take that back – travel to meet our child might be cheaper and we won’t be dealing with jetlag and getting to know our new child. That is a win!

What can you do to help?

1. Pray for God’s direction for our family at this pivotal point in adding #5. It is overwhelming to look at files and “choose” your child. Pray for wisdom and God’s clear direction. Not so ironically our family is memorizing the hymn “He Leadeth Me” by Joseph H. Gilmore as part of our homeschooling. Perfect timing Perfect words.

2. Give towards our adoption. Adopt Together has graciously offered to gather funds for our adoption. You can designate funds to our family through Adopt Together and they will send your gifts to our adoption agency to go towards our next fees. Your gift will be tax deductible. You will get a receipt immediately if you donate using a credit card or a PayPal account. If you donate by check, you will get a receipt at the end of the year. You can donate here.

3. One more way you can help….share our story. Point others to our blog or to our story on the Adopt Together website.

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Adoption is expensive. Some have asked why? Here is approximately where it all goes:

Agency Application:    $1000
Children’s House International (our U.S. Agency):    $6,550
Home study:    $3,000
Translation/Document/Dossier Expenses:    $1,770
China Program Fees:    $2,660
China Orphanage Fees:    $5,600
Visa Fees for Child:    $400
Travel in China:    $3,000
Flying Child Home:    $800
In-Country Costs:    $3,000
Post-Adoption Report:    $500
Re-Adoption in U.S.:    $3,000

Approximate Total: $30,000

One way God has confirmed in our hearts that this is the time for us to add #5 has been through His provision. In the past 6 months as fees have come up to start us on this journey, the funds have been there – extra teaching jobs for Hubby, generous gifts from friends and family who had no idea there was a need, and the support from another adoptive family who felt led to give to us. We stand amazed. Actually, it is one of the blessings of adoption – seeing how God cares for His children and provides to set them in families. We are looking forward to seeing how He provides for us in the coming months as we finish this journey.

Thanks again for standing with us. We will keep you posted on our journey.

**Photo Credit — Ben Hall — B’s Photography**

New Beginning

Posted on November 6, 2016 by Tammy

We have had such a weird fall. Hubby’s first class started October 17th. Not a typo. The university started almost 2 months late because of construction. Shi Da (where he teaches) moved their whole campus to a location outside of the city. No small feat. New dorms, classrooms, library, offices, and then some were built. It is a university city – a self contained campus. It has everything the students need and they don’t need to leave the grounds for anything. There is even a supermarket!

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Construction is not uncommon in this growing country. Getting things built on time is uncommon. Hubby (and all of his colleagues) are now busier than ever teaching make-up classes so that the semester can end on time just before Chinese Spring Festival.

To add to the craziness, the teachers were not moved to the new campus. We still live on the old campus and Hubs now commutes the hour outside the city to his new classroom whenever he has a class. We have been very content to use public transportation. Our city is big and the bus system is a well oiled machine that most locals use. But, if we have ever been willing to study to get our Chinese driver’s license and bite off buying a car in a different culture….well, the hassle has never felt worthwhile till now!

Commuting is a pain, but our true disappointment comes from not living close to the students who we feel called to invest in. We have taken great joy in hosting the 7 years we have worked here with students. Holiday parties, loaning English books from our little library, English corners, tutoring, baking, and just hanging out…an hour bus ride prohibits all of these precious times.

This fall feels like a new beginning in many ways. We are figuring out how to live spread out. We would appreciate you thinking of us as we experiment with new ways to reach out to students and try to hit a new rhythm and a new norm.

Hope

Posted on October 8, 2016 by Tammy

We might see it every time we walk through town, but it still takes my breath away. Beggars. Men with missing limbs painting with water on dusty sidewalks and women sitting with babies in their laps rocking back and forth – they all break my heart. I see my son in them. I see the birthmothers of my children in them. How can I not?

How do I deal? Well, we have gotten into the habit of carrying extra food like yogurt or rolls and small money to pass out. The children are quick to help me. It isn’t perfect. And really, it eases my conscience more than it helps, but I keep telling myself that it is something.

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Recently we went through the center of town headed to a western restaurant as a treat. We were celebrating another visa in our passport! Now that friends, is worthy of some fried chicken and fries at KFC! As we came up the steps headed for the door, Little Monkey pulled at my sleeve.

We both saw the young mother at the same time. She was sitting on the sidewalk clutching an infant wrapped in so many layers I wondered if he was able to move. The mother’s head was bent down to the ground. She didn’t make eye contact with anyone hurrying past even when a few small bills were dropped into her metal bowl.

Then my daughter….

My sweet, sensitive daughter who has an old soul and thinks way beyond her years, she stopped me in my tracks. “Mom, giving her a dollar won’t help her keep her baby. Please let’s buy her a meal.”

That woman on the street – I am sure she had never had fried chicken in her life, but she ate it that day….along with fries, soup and a soft drink. I wept as we bought her the meal knowing even that would not be enough. Mostly, I bought it for my daughter, for her birthmother and for hope.

I hope for a time when mothers and children will not be vulnerable. I hope for all children to have families and for the sick to be healed. I hope for a second coming when all things will be made new. Come Lord Jesus come.

Miracle Soup

Posted on September 30, 2016September 30, 2016 by Tammy

My mother-in-law has shared stories with me on how she managed a home with four kids on a budget. One thing she did – freezing left overs in a carton. Once the carton was full she would pull it out and make soup. You never knew what fun soup creation would result.

I kinda feel like this blog post is a bunch of tid-bits from the month of September. Not really sure what the end result of this post will be, but want to save these precious moments and share them. Mostly so I won’t forget.

We have celebrated an anniversary this month, Little Man’s 6th birthday, family day for both of our youngest kiddos and some milestones for our upcoming adoption. It has been a big month.

My baby is 6 years old! We had fun celebrating him with gifts, chocolate cupcakes, and his first ever birthday party. So much fun to plan a Dragon Training Camp that ended with a piñata (created and painted with much love by two older sisters) that was fought with a sword. Nothing like watching a bunch of kids swinging a wooden sword while your husband holds a piñata from a broom handle in the living room. Fun times. We may also have launched stuffed sheep across our living room at the book shelves and made our own version of corn hole…or feed the dragons. The whole thing was a hoot.

I was having so much fun celebrating our big, 6 year old, funny, first grade guy…not one tear. Then a couple of days later he lost his first tooth! I must admit, that is when I lost it. He is six. He is missing a tooth. My baby is all grown up. Sniff. Sniff.

Maybe that is why I was savoring our “Family Day Celebration” with more vigor and focus. Little Monkey has been in our family for 6 years this month – Little Man for 4 years. On the outside it seemed that we celebrated by going to a huge ball pit/playground. We then ate our favorite Chinese meal out – Hot Pot. Fun times. Good food. But, as I watched Soccer Dude carry little Man to the top point of the playground, I delighted. When I had a little in my arms for a few moments of rest, I savored the warmth of my space in time. I felt the joy and the miracle of my family that afternoon. I wanted to hold on and take in the moment. Not to keep the kids from growing up, I have longed since learned there is no trick for that. I just wanted to remember – never forget – our family that was brought together through pain, sorrow, redemption, joy and a lot of paperwork.

I felt the miracle of it.

I truly feel that every adoption is a miracle and as I watch our children grow and blossom, shaped by adoption (not just my younger two, but all four of my children…heck, me too) I am filled with awe and thankfulness.

We are on a journey that will take another miracle. I see the miracles our first two adoption were and I expect nothing less this time around.

We have completed all of our paperwork to submit to China for our next miracle. It is being authenticated and soon will be on its way from our adoption agency in the US to our side of the ocean. The next step….to be matched with the child God has for us.

Would you pray with us? We know that Father has a child in mind for us….and He will confirm who the next Williams will be during this next step. This will be part of the story of the miracle of our family. It will be miraculous, life changing, and we are praying hard.

Thank you for standing with us, following our journey and praying. Can’t wait to share our next miracle with you.

17 years and counting

Posted on September 3, 2016September 4, 2016 by Tammy

We had been living out of suitcases for at least 5 weeks by the time we hit Ohio. The kids were fighting in the van and I was nervous about the friends we were about to see in our state of mind. That is when Hubby pulled onto Brice Road. We looked at each other and smiled ignoring the chaos. At a church called Brice 17 years ago, that is where it all began.

We have moved 8 times, finished degrees, experienced two births and three adoptions, lived in 3 countries, learned two languages, and worked countless different jobs since that hot day in September. I had no idea what I was getting into!

That is exactly what I was thinking as I asked our kids to tumble out of the van to take photos on the steps of the church. We have a photo of our young selves all dressed up in a tux and white dress on those very steps. I still am amazed that at 24 I made a good decision like marrying this redhead. The grace of God. That is all I can say. I have been thankful for and marveled at that decision every year since.

Here’s the thing. I would do it again. Not because it has been easy. It hasn’t. Good but not easy. We now have tasted and seen sick, poor, bad, sad and a bit of ugly. But, there is something about choosing to do life with the same person. I never doubt who is going to be by my side during each season. He keeps on choosing me and I choose him.

Our new photo on those steps – we for sure are not as pretty. Those capri pants were wrinkled from travel and I had been sweating over my peacemaking efforts as momma to my crew. I am pretty sure I wasn’t wearing any make-up and I no longer can count the gray hair in somebodies chin strip. But, I think I will treasure this photo more. It shows us 17 years into this thing called marriage. I know what I am getting into now. I held his hand, gazed into his eyes and said yes again. It grossed out my teenagers and did all of our hearts some good.

We have come a long way in 17 years. I wonder what the next 17 might hold and am thankful that this redhead will be by my side. Choosing him one ~~year~~ day at a time.

Out of this world

Posted on August 27, 2016August 27, 2016 by Tammy

Little Man has his new leg and it literally is out of this world! It fits great, looks cool, and he is walking more than ever. We are so thankful for the folks at Shriners hospital for all they do to help our guy live to his full potential. They bend over backwards to helps us crazy people who live half way around the world and travel in for medical care. We are blessed to have them as our medical team. In their great care for our guy and setting up what he will need next, his doctors let us know that he probably will need another surgery next summer. It shouldn’t be as big of a deal as his bone reduction last summer, but due to his super growth, bone spurs are something we will have to look forward to. We are keeping that in the back of our minds, and thinking that we may have another summer stateside in the near future.

Once Little Man was running on a new leg we were able to check a few other things off our to do list this summer. Dental appointments down. Eye exams and new glasses. Soccer Dude’s follow-up and a minor outpatient surgery is done. Lots of grilling, a bit of camping. Many lovely visits with friends and family in the memory books. Another year of homeschool supplies loaded into suitcases. The grand finale was two days of travel. We are now home and can I just say….there is nothing like sleeping in my own bed!

It has been a busy summer! Now we are ready to settle back into our day to day lives. We are taking the next week to rest and get over jet lag then we will start at it again. Hubby can’t rest for to long – He has a trip scheduled for Thursday to look at the new campus in our city. His university is moving! It might prove to be a crazy fall with many new twists and turns as the university gets settled in their new location. We will keep you posted as it develops.

Thanks for lifting us up this summer. We are so blessed to have the support of so many! Blessed.

Breaking News. 4 +1 = 5

Posted on July 23, 2016 by Tammy

We have news. News that probably won’t surprise any of you, but news that might be shocking all the same.

I have gone over and over how to write this blog post – sharing our decision. Some cute photo perhaps? A snappy saying? In truth, this long-in-coming decision can’t be summed up in a cute phrase or a witty blog post. So, I will just blurt it out.

We are going to adopt again.

Yup. Five kids.

It is kinda crazy. We know it.

Something that is even more crazy? Children are growing up without parents. I know them. They are my students. Often, my students will plead with me, asking me if I would please adopt them. I really don’t think I can explain how my heart hurts for each of those kids who long for a family of their own. It is so very hard to say, “No.”

You see, when you teach at an orphanage…you face the need. There are not enough families and there are so many amazing kids waiting, hoping, praying. We can’t adopt them all. But, we feel that by God’s grace we are able to be the family for one more. We will grieve that we just can’t care for them all, but we will do all we can for one. We know we are able to love and care for one more.

We are facing the need I see on a daily basis and choosing to do what we can. The true crazy part…we will be blessed for it. I know that is truth. As a result of our two adopted kids, my life is so much fuller, brighter, happier, and filled with more slobbery cheek kisses. As a dear friend of mine (who has adopted 8 times!) once said, “We are just gluttons for blessing.” Amen.

I never set out to have a large family, though my high school Sunday school teacher might argue otherwise. I did once say I wanted 13 children and a station wagon. No husband. I am so thankful God hasn’t made all of that a reality.

There are moments – like today when we were shopping for jeans for our current four children and it took two extra strength tylenol, a half a gallon of sweet tea and the entire afternoon to get the job done, I wonder what kind of crazy woman I am. And when I think about adding another child to the mix for next year, well, sanity may be a bit overrated. Just keepin’ it real.

Then there are moments – like holding a small hand, reading a book, snuggling in bed, saying evening prayers, playing ping pong, and talking about the joys and pains of growing up – so many moments that I will not trade for anything.

We have never regretted adding any of our four kiddos to our family. We won’t regret #5. And at the end of our lives, we won’t look back and regret providing a home and a family for one more kiddo – even if it means stress and craziness and pressure in the short run.

I can’t wait to look #5 in the face and say, “Yes!” I can’t wait to tell them, ” We are now your family. No matter what life throws at you we will all be in your corner, walking with you, cheering for you, grieving with you. We are yours, and you are ours.” Oh, what a moment that will be!

So, we would really appreciate you praying for our family as we step out in faith to adopt again. We have just completed our home study and we are facing much more paperwork and a lot of fees. Please pray for God’s provision and strength as we wait, as well as His will as we seek being matched with the child He has for us. We will keep you posted as God unfolds another story of His miracles and grace in our family.

Jet lag and leg business

Posted on July 6, 2016 by Tammy

We are on American soil and fighting our way through jet lag. Jet lag is evil. Hubby jokes that if Dante would have ever experienced jet lag he would have included it as one of the circles of hell. Then add four children. To illustrate my point I will admit I am writing this at 4 am. A huge benefit of jet lagging (I just made up a word at 4 am) in the States – cereal. My five year old is eating a whole box of Cheerios as I type this.

That same five year old has a pretty big day today. We are heading to Shriner’s hospital for his annual check up and to start the process of getting him a new leg made- which is one of the main reasons we are in the States this summer. If there are no unforeseen procedures needed, we should get a good start towards him having a leg that doesn’t fall off! He has been a trooper the last few months. It hasn’t been fitting great which has caused some awkward moments this spring. Like when it fell off on a crowded bus. Everyone around us screamed or jumped back. We all of a sudden had more space than we needed plus a seat to sit down! Little man takes it in a stride. He laughs about it all and yanks the wayward leg back in place. I think God gave him extra personality to handle situations like these.

Last night when the little girl at the pool was asking questions about his missing leg, he gave the perfect response without help from mom. (For the record, we love it when parents allow their kids to ask questions. Don’t shush your kiddos and act like disabilities are something to hide, be ashamed of, or not talk about.) This precious little asked Little Man how he lost his leg. (First question for most kids. They wonder if they could loose theirs too.) She then said, “I didn’t know people with one leg could swim.” Little Man’s quick response, “Kids with one leg are normal kids.” BOOM. That is how education happens. His point was illustrated well as they happily swam together for the next hour.

We would appreciate your prayers today and over the coming weeks for little man. Hopefully he will be running with a perfect fit soon!

Broken Hearted

Posted on June 26, 2016June 26, 2016 by Tammy

It comes every year. I try to prepare my heart – but frankly the pain and injustice, I just can’t get used to it.

Due to our summer travel plans, this week marks my last art class of the semester. Children who live at an orphanage….well summer vacation has a whole different meaning for them. They live where they go to school and since it is often better to keep the kiddos busy and on a schedule, they don’t take long breaks from classes. I explained to my kiddos that I needed to travel with my family so there would be no art classes for July and August….but I would be back to start art classes again in September. The kids often will ask me over and over again….”Are you really coming back?” One little guy who was in a near panic over missing art, just couldn’t drop it. Finally I asked him, “Friend, will you be here in September?” After thinking a moment he said, “Yes, I am always here.” My reply, “Then I will find you when I come back.”

But, that isn’t always the case.

When a teen turns 17 years old – they must leave the orphanage and are sent to a social welfare institute. It is not a nice place. This week I said goodbye to a student I have had since the beginning of my days at the Children’s Home. He cried as we hugged. He wasn’t upset about the idea of missing art class for two months. He was crying because he knew this was the end. He will not be living at the orphanage when I come back.

I cried too.

I cried because I will miss him. I cried because he has no hope for the future. I cried because if he had been adopted his life would have been so different.

These boys who were never chosen….Lord have mercy.

Kids need families.

Let’s make a difference. Foster. Adopt. Give. Tell their stories. Cry for the orphan. Pray.