Tammy

I can’t forget

Posted on September 7, 2014 by Tammy

Sitting here in my pj pants sipping strong coffee reflecting on the week. Oh, what a week. The first week of the semester always is a bit overwhelming, I must admit it and should be prepared for it. But I can safely say this week was more intense than most. Yes, Hubby had his first week of teaching with all the new student and textbook craziness. We did start homeschooling and jumped into figuring out Chinese classes for the girls at the international school and I was at the orphanage setting up what my art classes will be. All of that but more.

Trying to decide what to share and what should be left between me and my coffee.

But if I don’t share their stories…..

I had a few key meetings this week at the orphanage to plan our involvement for the semester. So many opportunities have been mentioned and we really needed clarity and wisdom over what we should do. Unfortunately, the need is just greater than OUR time and resources. But, we happen to know the ONE who has no limits. That was my comfort and peace as I was given a unique invitation to tour a facility outside our city with a special education director.

Let me back up a bit.

Children who grow up in the orphanage have two paths their lives might go down….1. to be adopted and set in a family 2. to grow up in the system and at age 18 they are released to be on their own — or sent to an adult institution.

(Can I just say again….please adopt!)

Three of my older students turned 18 and were sent to the adult facility this summer. Saying goodbye to them was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. When I was told they were moving to the adult institution I literally thought I was going to throw up. I have heard stories and my heart couldn’t handle the thought of those horrors being a part of the future for my friends. In that moment I clearly heard the voice of THE FATHER speak to me. “They are not yours. They are mine.”

This week, I was able to visit my three students in their new home….a facility for people with no place in society. As I walked up to the compound that has bars on the windows, my heart hurt for the kids — kids who not only never have known the love of a family, but now are living like prisoners.

A non-profit organization, CA, has built a special unit at the facility for the teens coming from our orphanage. The rooms are nicer with a private bathroom, there is a main living room and dinning area where the residents are able to eat together. But life still is hard. Our kids are used to classes, art and music, games to play, books to read, a caring staff and an area outside to walk. Now at the new facility, they have none of these things. Without these, the days living within the barren walls of the unit must seem endless.

Twice a week two social workers from CA are now going out there to teach the residence life skill classes. During our visit I got to see one of the classes. It is a start.

I was thankful to see my former students, their new home and reassure them that they have not been forgotten. But in a way I kinda do wish I could forget. I didn’t even know this place existed a few days ago. Now I have seen it and know the dear ones locked behind its walls. One resident followed us around and with tears begged for attention. That place, those people, they are burned in my mind.

CA has asked me to teach art classes at this facility once a week. I am at a loss….feeling my heart moved and yet not knowing how to make it all work. This facility is a 2 hour one way bus ride from where we live and is to far for a taxi driver to want to take me there. On top of the issue of transportation, there is no help. At the orphanage the nannies/teachers help me with the classes. I provide the projects and they help with paintbrushes, scissors, tape….whatever I need help with. At this facility there are no nannies or teachers to help. I can not do this alone.

So that is what I am talking to Gd about over my coffee this morning. Since I can’t forget they are out there needing help….I need a Chinese drivers license, a car, and a helper….and maybe a few more hours in my days. That might just about cover it. Okay, I also could use a good dose of Gdly courage.

This is a Gd sized job so we are waiting to see how He comes through. For now, we are buying books, paper, markers, DVDs and other items to send to the residence to use. It is a start.

Not really sure where to go from here or how to close this post. I guess if you will indulge me let me say it one more time…please adopt. Anyone who is able – adopt. If you can’t add a child to your family then donate toward the adoption of a child. If you can’t donate then tell the stories of children who need families and spread the word.

Dear Gd may you find families for these kids before they ever need to be move to adult institutions.

There’s a 4 year old in the house

Posted on September 3, 2014 by Tammy

“I was born in China. You adopted me and now I am four.” That is his story and he is repeating it to me over and over. Sometimes it ends with the question, “So now I am always four?” His little mind is working hard to wrap his brain around the milestones we have been celebrating.

Within two weeks of each other we celebrated Little Man’s birthday and the day he became a Williams.

Although he is a big boy, this Little Man still loves to crawl up into momma’s lap and suck his thumb. He was snuggled in yesterday, his birthday. We had said that we were going to read a book, but the morning had been filled with the excitement of some gifts….new legos and little toy planes. He flew those toys all over the house and now he was out of gas. The book in my lap was quickly forgotten and his eyes became heavy. I took the moment to rock my boy again realizing that such moments are quickly passing as he gets bigger. Those long legs already hang over my knees. Who knows how many more times he will ask, “will you hold me?”

I now have been holding him for two years. He spent two years without me and we have been working hard to make up the moments we missed. I don’t know what he looked like as he entered the world and there is a woman somewhere who held him then and wonders what he looks like now, four years later.

We sang happy birthday to him after dinner. When we began our pitchy version of the song he began to turn circles dancing to his birthday song. What joy. My heart was full as I watched him. Celebrating his life and the undeserving gift I have to be his mom.

We are back!

Posted on September 1, 2014 by Tammy

The horrors of jet lag. I swear hell might look like never ending jet lag. Oh, so painful! All in all our travels back east were uneventful and smooth. There was only one moment I about came unglued.

Only a crazy art teacher would pack a good chunk of our luggage allowance full of glue, glitter, Crayola, and craft sticks. One huge bottle of glitter would not fit in the suitcases. My sweet son stuck it in his carry on knowing his momma can go through a lot of glitter and there is non to be bought in our city.

It is the last flight in a Chinese airport that is known for its security measures, I was prepared. We had no liquids and confidently were waltzing through. Then….

They took my glitter!

Hey, Hey, Hey! That isn’t liquid or flammable I heard myself whining and then pleading with my sweet husband to come to my aid in defensive of the red glitter. How do you explain what glitter is to an officer who never has seen the likes of a 5 lb bottle of the stuff before!

I promise I won’t blow up your plane with it!

Meltdown was completely unneeded. The second round through the scanner machine thingy deemed it harmless and it was handed back to me. I noticed them raising an eyebrow at the crazy white woman and her glitter.

Jet lag is to blame for a lot of bad behavior….my whining included. That is my story and I am sticking to it.

We are back glitter and all so thankful to be “home.”

Now that jet lag is mostly behind us we are jumping back into life. The kids started homeschooling today and attended Chinese classes in the afternoon. Hubby had his first day of classes – three literature classes, two oral english classes and a weekly lecture are sure to keep him busy. I had my first meeting at the orphanage to set up classes too. It was a big day setting up the fall semester for the Williams clan.

One of the kids at the orphanage summed it up well. “So glad you are back. How about you start art class NOW.” Love that kid! I think he will get an extra scoop of glitter the first day of class!

Fallen off the edge of the earth?

Posted on August 23, 2014 by Tammy

Since I haven’t posted in weeks, I am sure you assume I have fallen off of the edge of the earth. Nope. Just traveled around it and we are now heading back again!

At the beginning of July we flew to the States with the main goal of getting Little Man a new prosthetic leg made. (Totally need to blog about that process, but we will save that for another time.) He now is proudly cruising on new toes! Mission accomplished, but that isn’t the whole story. The side benefits of needing to come stateside for medical reasons – well they were numerous, to numerous to list, but I might give you a few of the highlights.

Little Monkey got to see the Great Wall for the first time on our way out of the country. She had mentioned the grievance that the Chinese members of our family had not seen the Great Wall. A day hiking the wall was our remedy and it was all she had hoped for and then some.

2. Hang’n with the grandparents was a highlight for all of us. Being spoiled with favorite foods, riding four-wheelers, tagging along “helping” and chattering non-stop makes for some great summer memories!

3. The beach. Nothing else needs to be said. No photo needed since I was in a bathing suit! 😉

4. Connecting with friends. I can’t tell you how many times I was in tears this summer over the joy of friendship. You can’t beat good friends who support you, love you and pray over you. We are blessed. Here are two examples – great friends I was in Bible study with 10 years ago! The sweet fellowship continues.

5.Simpson Park Camp meeting was a time of peace and renewal for me. The few days we camped there were filled with such sweet times. Love that place. Every furlough should include some time soaking in the goodness of a campmeeting!

6. I met my new niece! The one weekend we were around and this sweet, obedient, little one arrived as if on cue! Okay, her mom might not say that, but her Aunt was thrilled by her delay! Thank you for coming into the world just in time for us to welcome you, precious!

7. Making it to the Hurley family reunion. It was so fun to see cousins that I hadn’t seen in years and years and then to watch as our children became friends. Priceless.

8. Worm guts, blue gill and gnats usually wouldn’t make any highlights list, but enjoying the great outdoors in the country – well I needed that! I am ready now to go back to our city life after soaking in some country.

Thinking I should make this a good top ten list, but then who can stop at ten? It has been a great summer, but we are now ready to return. Looking forward to a new season.

Exam week

Posted on July 2, 2014 by Tammy

If one of my professors in university had been a hot red-head – I would have been day dream’n and getting nothing done. Oh, wait…I was day dreaming but it was because the red-head was sitting behind me and distracting me! Now that guy is the professor.

He has given his final lectures for the semester and is now administering exams. We both can hardly believe that his first year of teaching English is done. Although teaching here has been drastically different from what and where he has taught in the past, He has loved it and is ready to tackle another year.

He has been able to share more content than we ever could have imagined and the time investing in students has been rich. Not only that, his students have asked if he will be their teacher again next year. Now that makes ya feel good! More good news, he has been assigned more literature classes come fall and the department has asked him to give lectures on cross-cultural communication to the other staff. All in all a great note to end on.

It has been a great semester, but we are looking forward to a change of pace. As soon as Hubby gets the last exam graded we will be boarding a train for Beijing. From there we are headed to the States. Main objective for our trip is to get our youngest son a new leg…a prosthetic with the toes broken off…not so useful. We also are looking forward to some American food and time with friends and family.

The summer will go fast for sure….which is a good thing because we are excited to get back here and start another year of doing what we love doing best!

Pizza Party Good-bye

Posted on June 30, 2014 by Tammy

There are moments when you know you have come a long way (and that there is so much further to go…Amen?!) I had one of those moments as I talked to one of the teachers at the orphanage. They had planned a pizza party for our last Friday class together as a way to say good-bye for the summer. My heart was so warmed!

I have been hoping for deep life-giving relationships with the workers at the children’s home. I volunteered at the orphanage for a year in the past and never really was able to build relationships with fellow workers. I still am in awe over the open doors and how favored my time at the children’s home has been since our return almost a year ago.

They bought all the ingredients for the pizza and set it up in the orphanage “apartment.” One of the classrooms is set up like a home, full kitchen, living room and bedroom, to teach the kids what a home is like. Both of my classes crammed into the tiny apartment and with remarkable attention watched as I mixed the dough and made pizza for them. I looked up from kneading the dough to their sweet faces starring at me – it felt like we were a family. I love them all so much, at times I feel like I could just burst.

We were using the common oven you can find in these parts; they are the size of a toaster oven. There was a lot of waiting as we baked the dough, put on the toppings, baked again. The pizzas were very small so we went through this process four times. The kids waited patiently and entertained themselves by looking at photos of themselves as I took them.

One Chinese teacher carried the first pizza over her head and exclaimed to the kids – “Your American pizza party!” It made me laugh as I took in our small square treat. They had decided to top the pizzas with Chinese hotdog (it is like spam in my opinion) mutton, carrot, onion and tomato. I did put my foot down and told them I would bring the pizza sauce. “No, ketchup is not what we use in the States as Pizza sauce!” HaHa. So “American pizza” is a term I would use loosely when describing what we ate…but the kids sure did enjoy it. The beauty of these kids, they are honest. So I know they weren’t pretending to like it!

The second pizza was cut into tiny squares and carried up and down the hallway of the orphanage to be shared by the kids who are not in my classes. It was so fun to hear the excited exclamations over eating pizza…and in between meal time at that! We also had a steady stream of nannies coming to take a peek at the recipe which led to us planning a shopping trip over the weekend so I could introduce them to the import store where you can buy mozzarella cheese. Relationship building at its best and I think I might just have started to become a part-time cheese supplier. Who knew?

What a great way to end the semester. I hate to see it come to an end; it feels like we just got things rolling. I have high hopes that the 6 weeks we have off won’t set us back, but I will be able to pick up the relationships right where we left off come the fall.

Hmmm….maybe we will have to start the fall semester with me planning a cookie party for them at my apartment? Already planning and dreaming for next semester!

Happily Ever After

Posted on June 26, 2014June 26, 2014 by Tammy

He was one of my first students. A tiny five year old who we all recognized as having potential – I mean look at those bright eyes! He was younger than the rest of the class but was allowed to join us because of his natural artistic ability. As I got to know him, I also was learning as an orphanage volunteer, about the world of adoption, and about kids with special needs – specifically boys.

I wondered why he wasn’t being adopted. I was told he was un-adoptable. My heart broke for him.

Two years later the orphanage director decided to give him a chance and began the process of preparing his paperwork.

It will be a sleepless night that I will never forget. I got the email saying his paperwork would be done at the end of the summer. I tossed and turned through the night as the grave reality hit me. A seven year old boy finally given a chance, but how often do you hear of a family able and willing to take a chance on an older special needs boy.

Last night, I tossed and turned again. It will be a sleepless night that I will always remember. This time it was not prayer of anguish on behalf of a boy without a family, rather I was awake excitedly saying a heartfelt prayer of thanksgiving. I knew in the morning there would be less one orphan – and not just any orphan – my favorite student now has a family!! Last night, I was so excited I couldn’t sleep giving thanks for what was coming.

Can I just type that one more time….just so you understand the depth of my excitement, utter joy and unbelievable relief?!

HE HAS A FAMILY.

He was chosen. He was adopted. It is forever.

Let me introduce you to Luke (his new english name!) He is an amazing artist who is so very smart. While living this past year with his foster family,who now is his forever family, he learned English and caught up to his peers at the international school. Watching him roll and tumble with his brothers and running around at school, you seriously would have thought he has been there forever. Now forever is possible.

Luke is the poster child of older adoption.

I know you have heard the horror stories….and older adoption can be difficult, but today I want to tell you a story that has an incredibly happy ending. This guy dove into family life and never looked back. His mom exclaimed to me a few months after having him with them, “I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is it supposed to be this easy?”

I stood in a governmental office taking photos of a family as they pressed their thumbs into a well of red ink. They read the document they were signing out-loud to their boys. “This means we will never abandon you. We will treat you like a biological son. We will give you a good education.” Luke asked, “What does abandon mean?” His mom pulled him into a hug and replied, “It means we will never leave you. You will always be with our family.”

You can not see my tears through the photos I took. But they are there. I couldn’t hold them back. Just one or two slipping from the corner of my eye as I captured the grin of a boy who now has a last name and a family who has been blessed immeasurably by another son. It will be a moment this art teacher treasures in her heart…right up there with my wedding day, the births and adoption days of my own four children.

I think I might just carry this photo around in my art bag from now on as a reminder that there is hope.

When I returned to China to teach at the orphanage, I fell in love again – with a different seven year old boy named Renny. I thought of him this morning as I took pictures of Luke.

There is hope.

Maybe you are a part of the hope that needs to be extended to Renny. He is cute as a button, loves learning and has mild CP. In China he isn’t allowed to go to public school because of his disability. He needs a family so that he can have hope and a future. His adoption paperwork is completed and waits to be chosen. You can contact Annie Hamlin with Lifeline Children’s Services and ask to view Renny’s file to consider adopting him. Click here to email her.

Maybe Renny isn’t a match for your family, but God is calling you to be hope for one of the other 1393 boys who are right now on the waiting list to be adopted from China. That isn’t counting the girls who wait…..in total there are about 1831 children currently waiting on the shared list which means anyone can adopt them. (Did you catch that?! 1393 boys and 438 girls. That is a sad statistic for a different blog post!) There are even more children who wait in orphanages without paperwork and even more who are assigned to specific agencies. It is staggering….but not hopeless.

Happy family day to the Tompkins family! Thank you for being willing to step out in faith and for giving this art teacher hope! Look at the grin on that boy’s face. Nothing else needs to be said!

Mountain Man

Posted on June 17, 2014June 17, 2014 by Tammy

This past weekend Hubby had the delight of chaperoning a camping trip for Soccer Dude’s afternoon 6th grade class. Delight isn’t the first word that Dad used as he walked in the door smelling of campfire and needing a desperate cup of coffee after no sleep and miles of hiking….but after a hot shower and a cup of coffee! 😉

I have mentioned in the past that we live in a city of millions – but I am not sure if I have explained that we are also in the mountains. The city where we live is huge…..but if you travel just a short distance you realize that the mountains that surround us dwarf the city. My guys went and tackled some of those mountains.

I loved hearing that as soon as camp was set up Soccer Dude had a large stick and took off on his own to hike to the peak. Once he made it, he opened his pocket knife and used it to slow himself down as he jumped to the waiting cliff more than 16 feet below. (That is why Dad’s chaperone and not Moms!) Once at camp again, he rallied his friends and led them to the top as well.

Can you find our Mountain Man in this photo?

Here is a zoom in to prove he made it!

There are many, many more peaks to explore on future trips.

There is nothing like getting out of the city for a few days. We might be country people who are thriving in a large city, but every once in awhile you just need a bit of country. Thankful that we are surrounded by places that can scratch that itch. My guys came home with grand plans of picking up more camping gear and heading out as a family! The little 2 man tent that Hubs feet stuck out of all night (we are taller than most asians!) isn’t quite gonna cut it! Tents, sleeping bags, fishing poles and fire gear are in our future….now just for a car! Can’t believe I am even thinking about driving in this country; I love me some city buses! After seeing these photos and hearing the excitement in my boy’s voice….it might be worth it.

2.5 million people

Posted on June 10, 2014 by Tammy

Ever wonder how two country kids can end up living in a city of millions and thrive?

It’s true, Hubby and I both grew up in small towns and at least for myself the thought of living in a city of millions was unimaginable. But yesterday, we laughed again how living in a large city in this culture at times can be so like living in a small town.

Little Man and I were walking back from the market. We have learned to ignore the stares as I pull him in the wagon (Thanks to another expat friend who gave us their wagon that had been shipped over from the States. Gotta love hand-me-downs!) I was hauling my load up the small hill to the back gate of campus when a middle-aged man stepped in to help. Rare! We often get watched but don’t get helped.

I turned to thank him and a conversation began.

It started like most conversations….”So this is your son?” We chatted about us having four kids; he has one. I told him how long we lived in China and he told me he grew up in this city. He asked about Little Man’s leg and the conversation turned a bit more personal.

“Oh, yeah we all know your family. Your husband is a teacher and we see your children. We know you live on the 2nd floor in building 5, but we do have questions?

At first this could feel creepy…..but really it speaks to the communal nature of this culture. It might be a big city, but our little apartment complex filled with neighbors in high risers – they know each other and they want to know and understand me.

“Did your son have an accident which made him lose his leg? It looks like you love your Chinese children the same as your birth children, but that can’t be true. Is it? We watch you come and go….where do you work? Would you adopt a child from here? What is this thing you are pulling your son in? This is my first time seeing a wagon. You are different!”

I answered his questions as we walked through campus, knowing he would report all my answers to his wife, a teacher along side my husband. She is sure to tell the other neighbors. It is like living in a fishbowl. Maybe if I hadn’t grown up in a small town that would bother me. Believe it or not, I welcome the curiosity of my neighbors.

As they ask questions our hope is that they see something different about our family and they will be intrigued by who makes us different.

Going out

Posted on June 8, 2014June 9, 2014 by Tammy

Butterflies in my stomach…I have had them ever since I was called in for a meeting at the orphanage. Children’s Day (like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day in the States) was quickly approaching and they asked me to help make it special for the kids. It was the first time they asked me for help. Usually it is the other way around….I offer help and see if they approve it or even want it. This was a huge deal for them to approach me and I was excited, but really nervous wanting to do well.

We planned two events for kids this past week with the help of some international students who are visiting Hubby’s university. Couldn’t have done it without these students who served and loved well! They blessed my socks off!

On Children’s Day – when the park was filled to the max with families taking their children to the park – we also loaded up 12 taxis filled with volunteers and children. Each volunteer was matched with a child for the afternoon to be their buddy. The orphanage staff choose the 20 children we could take to the park and I was thrilled to see that the list consisted mainly of kiddos who don’t get a chance to get out often – kids with severe autism, kids that are blind and kids who were unable to walk. It all made this momma sweat a bit thinking of being responsible for them. Any doubts I had flew from my mind as we wheeled them out of the orphanage. One boy, who I often feed dinner to on Monday and Fridays, called out “Kai Xin” (happy) over and and over as we placed a hat on his head and took him out into the sunshine. In that moment I would have signed over every Sunday afternoon for orphanage outings if they had asked me!

The afternoon wouldn’t have been listed as the best ever Children’s Day in the book of most children. The group wheeled the kids around the park, we played with bubbles and finished the afternoon with a special yogurt treat and a Hersey’s kiss. The kids were content to watch people walk by and to have one on one attention for the day. They were not content with only one Hersey’s kiss! Note to self to sneak in chocolate treats more often!

The second outing came about after another meeting. Word had gotten around that I had some friends helping with an outing for Children’s Day. The foster care department then asked me to help them with an outing for the foster families. If I was nervous about the first request….well this one gave me a heart attack. They asked us to plan interactive games and to train foster families how to play with children to promote physical and mental stimulation. “We know Americans parent differently and are very accepting of disabilities…show us what you do.” Ummm, yeah. No pressure. Heehehe.

The second outing was even better than the first….for me at least. We had planned games using a parachute, exercises based on the Eric Carle book “Head to Toe” and sidewalk chalk art (of course!) – but it wasn’t the planned activities going well that made the day a huge hit for me. In the midst of the party we were having at the park, I looked around at the 30ish foster families and their children and was overwhelmed.

These families are caring for children – day in and day out – with needs like spinal bifida, limb differences, and blindness….just to name a few. They are going against the cultural norm and loving children who have been set aside. One foster mother told me about the 17 children she has cared for till their adoptions to the United States and then introduced me to the sweet one she is caring for now. With love she told me how this two year old girl still can’t walk, “but I have hope for her!” Wow. What love. What sacrifice.

Over the afternoon I felt such a deep connection with these families who look different from the average Chinese family. As I gave them a book and a bubble wand at the end of the afternoon I was wishing it was so much more. I wanted to hug them tight and whisper in their ears – “well done!”

Because they gave me a gift. I don’t feel as alone anymore.

I often look around the orphanage and see a need that is oppressive. This week I realized that some times the need can be met with something as simple as an outing to the park. I also have met a whole new set of friends who are battling the needs right along with me.

So glad I ignored the butterflies and pushed through.

Blessed.