Family – Page 6 – Casting A Stone

And then he did a face plant…

Posted on March 19, 2016March 19, 2016 by Tammy

My first mistake was telling Little Man he could ride his tricycle to the market. An unseasonably warm day made me unusually optimistic on how much I could carry with a kindergartener and a tricycle in tow. Lesson learned.

A box in one arm, several days’ veggies and fruit in a bag on the other with the tricycle slung over my shoulder, Little Man and I started crossing the road to start the trek home. He was holding the hem of my jacket as we stepped off the curb. I am not really sure what happened next. It all went so fast and slow at the same time. We had plenty of time to cross the road in front of the white car that suddenly seemed to be barreling down on us when Little Man’s leg came off. Velocity taking over, his body kept going and he landed hard on the pavement near the other side of the road.

You know those moments? The moments when you are standing in the road deciding if you should let the car run over your son’s leg or scoop him up and comfort him — all the while trying to untangle yourself from a bag of broccoli, apples and tomatoes. AND while doing all this, you are thinking in the back of your mind….”Wow, I guess his leg really isn’t fitting that great these days!” See what I mean? Never in my life did I think there would be such a moment. I chose wiping tears and checking for broken bones and blood. Little Man was not happy with that choice, and he began screaming even louder that his leg was about to be road kill.

In enters a stranger.

Just a little cultural context. It is not common to help strangers. Friends and family, absolutely. Strangers, no. It is culturally common to stop and watch, but not to help. Let’s just say, in all of my years living in Asia I have been stared at A LOT more than I have been helped.

Wednesday was different.

A man stepped out into the road, rescued Little Man’s leg, retrieved the roll away tricycle and was at my side helping me steady a weeping boy. He held a little hand while I checked for wounds (there were none) and slid an intact prosthetic leg back in place. When I finally had enough wits to look up at the man, I said. “You are a very nice man.” His reply was with typical Asian modesty, “No, not at all.”

And he walked away.

We made it back home with a story to tell over dinner. All of the kids marveled at the nice man who stopped to help. “I want to be a nice Chinese man like that.” Little Man exclaimed. It truly is amazing how a few moments of help can make a deep impression on those around us. It reminds me of a statement our pastor in Michigan used to say often, “Small things done with great love make a big difference.” Okay, rescuing a prosthetic leg from being run over by a car actually was kinda a big thing. But, the few minutes he took to help us…well that was a small moment from his life and I am very thankful. It made a big difference to us.

I want to be that type of person…willing to stop for a moment and help. We can make grand plans on how to live out our faith and how to love those around us, but if we aren’t able to slow down and embrace the unexpected moments – well, it is worthless. I am striving to live a life of service that will encourage those around me and I am so thankful when the blessing is turned my way.

My Crazy Life – December edition

Posted on December 28, 2015December 28, 2015 by Tammy

December is just one of those months. Every year I get so homesick for my extended family and Christmas traditions that I could burst into tears at any given moment. But, every year we have the privilege of celebrating Christmas cross-culturally, I am filled with joy at the opportunities to experience the true meaning of Advent. I could explode over the wonder of it all. My crazy life.

This year was like the others, busy with open houses for students, story telling, cookie baking, Christmas art projects, frosting and sprinkles. It has been breath taking…and so very fun. I really think that this month will go down in the books as one of the best Christmas seasons ever. It wasn’t perfect. I burnt cookies, got overwhelmed by the number of guests that came through our home, and Little Man picked his nose through his debut in the Christmas play. (Friend, that could be a post on its own. My son dressed as a wiseman digging for treasure up his nose. Yes, he saw me give him the “momma stink eye.” Then says to me FROM STAGE, “Just a second, I almost have it!” He then pulled it out and flung it. True story. Sigh.)

So it wasn’t perfect, but there were moments that I will treasure for years to come. I was able to be the first one to share the Christmas story with a student. How perfect is that? Decorating sugar cookies with all of my art students who called the frosting paint and couldn’t keep themselves from licking everything…Okay, a little gross, but oh so priceless. My children hosting and helping. I think that treasure is the one I will ponder the most. Soccer Dude pushing a wheel chair and breaking off bits of cookies to put in the lips of children who are paralyzed. That is a gift.

There are many days that I long for Christmas of the past when I was at home with my parents and eating western food and attending a Christmas eve service. But honestly, if next Christmas would find us back in the States, I would miss what I have here. My crazy life. True story.

Back at it

Posted on September 27, 2015 by Tammy

If you don’t hear from me for the next 12 years it is because I am now homeschooling 4 children and it is kicking my tail! I have now done Kindergarten several times and really thought it would be no big deal to add it to our daily school business. Well reality has hit but we haven’t hit our stride.

All joking aside, we are working hard to get into a rhythm for the semester. Hubby has two weeks of classes under his belt (they are mostly literature classes again with a fun grad class to boot) and I have enjoyed two art projects with my special students at the orphanage. Play-dough and dot markers are a great way to start the fall.

On the home front we are tackling Kindergarten along with 3rd, 6th and 8th grades. Little Man was thrilled at first to have his own shelf of books and to be a “real” student. Three days in he was asking how many days we needed to do this school thing! Reality hits. The girls and I are digging in a bit deeper this year and exploring some creative elements in art and writing that have been over looked in the past. Hoping we can keep up the fun. Soccer Dude is testing the waters with online schooling and enjoying it even though there is a learning curve. Never a dull moment when a notice is posted on the apartment complex door that we will have no electricity when we were scheduled for a Skype meeting with his teacher and he was to do an online math test. In the end, we packed all the kids up and took the excuse to explore a newly opened Starbucks in our city. The kids joked that they felt like they were going to school in the States! I guess we don’t live in the backwoods any more if we are able to order a frappuccino!

All in all – we might not have hit a stride for the fall, but we are slipping back into routine and slowly recovering from our crazy summer. Soccer Dude even let me take his picture at Starbucks. He is looking good (thank you to the plastic surgeon in Detroit!) and all of his stitches have fallen out making eating so much easier. Now, if only we could find an allergy medication to help him with the hives he’s had since the dog bite.

Many have also asked how Little Man is doing. I sometimes forget he had such a major surgery at the beginning of the summer. He is back to his old self running around so much that there already is a crack forming at the toes of his prosthetic. I wonder if there has ever been a package shipped internationally with “foot” marked as it contents. We might ask our team of doctors in Florida to give it a try before we have toes fall off again!

Thanks again for all of your support and prayers as we have transitioned into the fall. His grace has been so real to us over the last few months and we know it will continue to carry us.

Home Sweet Home

Posted on September 12, 2015 by Tammy

Last night at dinner Soccer Dude casually mentioned, ” Hard to believe the last time I ate noodles at this table I didn’t have scars on my face from a dog bite.” It struck me again.

I have joked in the past that travel week for us is kinda like living out one of those sci-fi movies. You know, where you enter a time machine and arrive on a different planet and in a different dimension. We leave a world of grandparents, bagged salad, dryers, large yards with trees (and speaking English!) — to enter a world of friends, noodles, apartment buildings, and a college campus where we teach English and art. They are two totally different worlds and it can be unnerving to hop from one to the other. We really fit in neither, but love both…I struggle to wrap my brain around that, not to mention help my children navigate our two realities.

This summer has been extreme. HA, understatement! We went from our busy world in Asia to a world of hospitals, dentists, immunizations, doctor appointments — and did I mention doctor appointments?

In a way, it has helped us to be more thankful than ever to be back “home.” Surgeries are behind us. Little Man has a new prosthesis that fits and he is running again. (See photo of him during a walk through the woods!) Soccer Dude continues to heal and the stitches are dissolving. Life is moving on. We are beyond thankful for Father’s healing and our ability to come back to our Asian home.

It never felt better to walk in our apartment door. Starting the routine of homeschooling in our own space has been a comfort and facing a new fall has been a joy. There is no way we would be back here without the pr.yer and support of so many of you. It carried us.

A mentor always willing to take a phone call when we needed a sounding board, an ophthalmologist who fit Soccer Dude for contacts the last week we were in the States because his glasses were bothering the wounds in his nose, a pediatrician’s office willing to work us in to talk about hives and swelling, friends who drove an hour to play with us at a park and express their love and concern, friends in Asia calling and sending us gifts, a simple text message saying “we are pr.ying for you”….all these things (plus many more I could add to this list) carried us and reminded us of the love of a Father who provides.

So when we are weary from jet-lag, facing another busy semester after a crazy summer, when Soccer Dude breaks out in hives again…we have no doubt Father will provide.

Wow! This post has been full of lists! I am sure you could make your own list. How is Father providing for you this season?

Thanksgiving in August

Posted on August 30, 2015 by Tammy

We ate turkey dinner with all of the trimmings. Yup. It was August 19th and we pretended it was Thanksgiving and it was so very yummy (mostly because it was lovingly made by my mom!)

Even though it was a fake Thanksgiving, I still paused over the gravy bowl and took a second to realize how many things I have to be thankful for. Even just a week earlier I would have been hard pressed to visualize my whole family healthy and sitting around the dinner table. I am one thankful mom.

Two and a half weeks ago Soccer Dude was bit in the face by a large dog – a large well trained dog. It was a freak accident. Really. But as freak of an accident as it was, it landed our boy in the hospital for 5 days. He needed two surgeries to repair the damage and in the process we discovered he is allergic to several antibiotics. As you can imagine, none of us were happy about this turn in events. We were supposed to be having fun at my parents home in Michigan – not sitting around a hospital in Detroit. Every time Soccer Dude would introduce himself to the nurse coming on duty he would mumble between the hundreds of stitches in his mouth, “this is the worst summer vacation ever.”

At about the same time, Little Man was struggling with muscle weakness and the process of making a new prosthetic leg was not going well. The physical therapist who was helping us shook her head and told us he would need months of physical therapy.

So things haven’t gone as we planned this summer. It has been a ride. But, we are amazed at how two weeks and a lot of prayer can change things.

Soccer Dude’s face is healing and he has had no infection in his wounds. He is still struggling with crazy allergic reactions that are causing full body hives, and he has some swelling in his face. We are starting a new journey with him to figure out what all he might be allergic to…related to antibiotics, the accident and maybe even more. Let the fun begin! We would appreciate you keeping him in your thoughts.

Little Man – He has worked hard over the past two weeks and his strength is coming back. His story also is nothing short of miraculous. When the docs saw him Monday they were amazed and instead of recommending three months of physical therapy as they expected, they declared there no longer is the need. We were able to move forward in the fitting process of the prosthetic and he gets his new leg tomorrow.

There have been times this summer that I wondered if we would be able to return to Asia this fall as we had planned. We still have some loose ends hanging out there, but we are taking strides to be off this coming week. We are taking it one step at a time and are thankful for each small victory that takes a step closer.

Resting Comfortably

Posted on July 14, 2015 by Tammy

The first several days after surgery were rough, but we are seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Yesterday, Little Man was acting more like himself. His fever has broke, last night he slept through the night without pain medication, and this morning he is asking to go for a spin in his wheelchair. This mom is breathing easier!

He loves the wheelchair. Even when he was experiencing a lot of pain he was willing to push himself around. After a month of not being able to wear his prosthesis, mobility seems like pure heaven. He has mastered doing donuts and his favorite new game is pretending to be Pac Man. He chases everyone (ghosts) to eat them. Love hearing him laugh as he chases us – Don’t love those huge wheelchair wheels running over my toes! He has also figured out how to crawl without touching his leg on the ground. It is like some crazy knee lift push up while crawling. He is amazing.

This week we are focusing on his continued healing and exercising his leg to keep his mobility. It is more natural for him to keep his knee bent so they have given him a brace so that his knee doesn’t lock. Next week, we go back to the hospital for them to check his leg and fit him for a compression sleeve to continue the healing and prepare him for a new prosthetic.

We can’t thank you all enough for keeping him in your prayers. Our family feels very blessed by your love and support!

The Leg – Surgery it is

Posted on June 27, 2015June 27, 2015 by Tammy

Surgery has been scheduled for July 9th. Although it is a bummer that Little Man needs surgery, we really are seeing God’s provision in how all the details are falling in to place. His team of doctors in the States were able to review all of the information we sent them from here and they have concluded that there is a 90% chance that surgery will be needed. So we are getting ready.

The surgeon “happened” to have a slot for the surgery the morning after our already scheduled appointment so they switched it to a pre-op appointment and surgery will happen the next morning. Provision for sure!

The procedure is routine in the States – a bone reconstruction in his limb or in the words of our family “the doctors are going to fix the booboo in Little Man’s stub so that he can wear his prosthetic again!” That is what matters. It is killing our little guy not to be able to wear his leg. He likes to be on the move! I am afraid the frustration of immobility will be a theme for the next month if not more, but in the end he should be more comfortable than ever.

Our summer plans really are on hold while we seek the best care for Little Man. We had hoped to do a lot of visiting and speaking – now we might be making a lot of phone calls. We hope that you all will understand our lack of visits this time around as we focus on getting our little guy up and running again.

We for sure will be keeping you posted on how he is doing and how the process goes. I would love to hear any suggestions on how to entertain an active four year old while in the hospital!

Another Year

Posted on June 11, 2015June 11, 2015 by Tammy

A lego set being put together, a blanket tent in the living room, audio books and an afternoon baseball game all mean the same thing….homeschool is done for another year and my kids are enjoying their free time today. We haven’t just survived 7th, 5th, 2nd and pre-school…could I say that we have thrived this year without sounding prideful? I am proud of what I have learned as a homeschool parent and am thrilled to see how the kids are advancing.

It has become a yearly tradition to post the milestones of each child at the end of our school year. Here goes for 2015!

Little Man our 4 year old pre-school graduate

biggest accomplishment: knows all the letter sounds, knows all the books of the Bible and stopped sucking his thumb!

favorite food: noodles

What he wants to be when he grows up: a race car driver

I am kinda against homeschooling pre-school….but, he wanted workbooks to use when the other kids were doing school work. I gave in and bought him workbooks. It is crazy how much he has learned just by “sitting in” and listening to the big kids. I really think we could not school him at all. The last one is the easiest….I guess! 🙂

Little Monkey or 2nd grade graduate

biggest accomplishment: reading everything she can get her hands on! We also are proud of her for pushing through her shyness to take an art and dance class.

favorite book: Pippy Longstocking

favorite food: a Chinese dish made from sliced potatoes and rice of course.

What she wants to be when she grows up: a baker or a teacher

Proud of this girl who is learning to be more independent. Her favorite thing is still to be close to mom. She is our rule following, stable, steady one. She is stepping outside of the box and creating things with legos without a manual and she loves to go on adventures through reading in books.

Roo our 5th grade graduate

biggest accomplishment: she fell in love with science through astronomy this year. She also continues to improve her artistic abilities adding music via piano to the mix.

favorite book: The Bronze Bow

favorite food: dumplings (the Chinese kind not the southern kind)

what she wants to be when she grows up: a beautician or an artist

It is crazy how artistic this girl is. She is always thinking outside of the box and pushing to do it like no one else. She and little monkey truly are best friends and they compliment each other so well. She loves listening to audio books as she is painting. We finally found a spelling curriculum that has helped her (and her mom) – Spell U See. Love it.

Soccer Dude our 7th grade graduate

biggest accomplishment: He has always hated writing, but this year decided for every writing assignment he would write a poem….because they are shorter! HA! Turns out he really can write some amazing poetry.

favorite pass time: training and playing with his lovebirds

Soccer Dude is our history buff and he loves reading anything he can get his hands on. It seems so crazy that we are starting to plan for High School. But then again, I knew this was coming….it is taking me longer and longer to prep his lessons. There are a lot of cob-webs I have needed to dust out to remember what I learned in 7th grade! We are planning on him doing North Star next year. We are hoping this online school might be a good fit for him and will be what he does for High School.

I close with sharing one of his poems with you.

I Made a Big Decision – by Soccer Dude

I made a big decision a little while ago.
I don’t remember what it was, which probably goes to show
That many times a simple choice can prove to be inconsequential
Even though it might seem essential.

I must have been distracted when I left home because
Left or right – I’m sure I went (I wonder which it was!)
Anyway, I never veered; I walked in that direction
Utterly absorbed, it seems, in quiet introspection.

For no reason I can think of, I’ve wandered astray
And that is how I got here today.

Unexpected guest

Posted on June 2, 2015June 4, 2015 by Tammy

We had talked about it. Prayed about it. Wondered when the right time would come…and then it just happened. We began our journey as foster parents. The foster care director at the orphanage called with a need for short-term care for 1.5 year old little girl, who we happen to know and adore. Her foster parents needed to travel for work before her adoptive family could complete her adoption.

But there is more to the story.

Let me go back to my first day in the orphanage after a three year break. I was given the full tour that day. So much had changed including how open and accepting the nannies and teachers were of my presence. Part of that tour included the baby room. I had never stepped foot in that room. I was trying hard to keep my wits about me as I was handed a new baby brought in that very week.

“You have experience with your son with one leg. You have four children. This new baby has no ears and isn’t eating well. What do you think?”

What did I think? I was in awe over the tiny perfect little girl who was new to the orphanage. We shared something – both the newbies. I have prayed for her ever since, expecting great things for her.

She is our first foster daughter.

Full circle.

We share something.

This time I am the lone newbie. To her I am just another stop along the wait for her forever family. Poor baby. She is my guinea pig. I really am not sure how to do this foster care thing. Loving this little girl is nothing like I have done before. I am caring for her as if she is my own, knowing that she is a guest. It is the ultimate act of hospitality and through her I am seeing a new side of love. It is hard, but it is good.

Little Man wasn’t so sure about inviting another little into our mix, but he now is asking, “Do we really have to give her to someone else to be adopted? We are a forever family!”

She is teaching us that you can love someone like family for as long as G.d places them in our lives. She is reminding me that I love babies and showing us that five kids isn’t too many! She, for sure, is keeping me on my toes as she darts around our house and tries to climb our bookshelves, smirking all the while. She is breaking my heart as she grieves the changes. She melts my heart as she pats my arm while I give her night time bottle, and she makes me feel old as I walk the floor with her in the night.

But more than anything…she is reminding our family that we love not to get something in return, but because He first loved us.

Learning to love again…like a newbie.

Growing up – With photos

Posted on March 3, 2015March 3, 2015 by Tammy

You ever try to write a blog post, edit photos, answer homeschool questions with a four year old rolling around under your feet? I shouldn’t. I did which resulted in me hitting “post” rather than “save as draft.” Here is the full post with photos from Little Monkey’s special day.

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During our travels in February we celebrated the birthday of our sweet Asian beauty. I truly love watching as she grows and matures, but I must admit that each milestone also brings my heart a twinge of pain. Eight. Sigh.

To further confirm my theory that this child is growing up fast….she has a bucket list of things she wants to do/see in her lifetime. What 8 year old does that?! One of the things on that list was to see the Terracotta Warriors. We just happened to be traveling through the city where they are located around her birthday. It was such a fun way to celebrate our girl! We spent the day learning more about the buried army, Chinese culture and taking many photos to remember the day. Not sure which we like better…the Great Wall or the Terracotta Warriors. Each soldier made around 221 BC has a uniquely carved face. Cool. But the Great Wall is the biggest man-made structure in the world and also constructed way before power tools. Unimaginable. We love the history and rich culture of this country!

Don’t let Soccer Dude’s “been here done this” look fool you. He acts to cool for school when I ask him for a photo, but when it comes to reading about this stuff and watching the work of the archeologists….He might have enjoyed our day more than the birthday girl.

Now the other two kids…they might not be our history buffs, but they can make anything an adventure. Here are my two crazies making the day just that much more fun.

We wrapped up the day with a trip to McDonalds for burgers. We can’t get burgers in our city so it was a treat. Little Monkey was a bit put out that I couldn’t make her a cake in our hotel room, so a surprise fruit topped cake compliments of our hotel was a fantastic way to end our day.

I could tell you so many more stories…like how we decided to save money and take the public bus out to the Warriors. We were the only crazy expats on the bus and the driver decided he didn’t want to finish the route and just dumped us out in the middle of no where. We ended up on a mini bus with a bunch of grannies who had never seen white people on their local buses and where sure I didn’t know how to parent since my children weren’t wearing enough clothes. You should have seen the look on their faces when I clued them in that I understood what they were saying and respectfully told them in mandarine that the kids weren’t cold and that many American families have four children. I love shocked expressions….followed by conversations with locals! Wink!

All in a day in the life of a crazy family who live cross-culturally.